THURSDAY NIGHT, JULY 31, 2008

Hi. The blog is not working for me right now. I guess my expectations need to be pigeon holed. Expectations lead to disappointments which lead to resentments. I stop at resentments. I just have too many other problems right now to let the blog add to them. I really enjoy each and everyone of you (NOT YOU PATRICK/MICKY). I read each of you almost everyday. If I don't comment, I wasn't there for that day, but I do catch up. I will continue to read most days, leave a comment, and so forth. However, right now, I just am not going to be posting for a couple of weeks, probably around August 15.

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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Saturday, June 26, 2008

Hi Y'all. Several years ago there was a daily cartoon called the Perfect Squelch. I enjoyed this item when I grew old enough to understand it. And the following is an example.

An older gentleman had another appointment to see his urologist, who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was that large, unfriendly, Sumo'type wrestler woman with whom he'd had several disagreements in the pas. He politely gave her his name.

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In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HER. YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCY, RIGHT.?"

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All the patients in the waiting room snapped their head around to look at the very embarrassed man. He quickly recovered and in and equally loud voice replied, "NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION--BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT PERFORMED YOURS."

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This joke also reminds me about a motorcycle run I went on in about 1994. This run was hosted by the Constantine's of San Francisco. Friday night there was always a show and it was called guest night on the run. A friend of mine and I had put together a little number in which we were going to be belly dancers to the tune of "Money, Money" from Cabaret. Well earlier that morning my friend and his partner had a snit and my friend left. But graciously left me the two costumes. So I knew this other guy that was fairly large like me and I approached him right after lunch to do the number with me. He agreed to do so.

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So later that afternoon he and I got together to try to put our "ACT" together. It just was not working. So we decided to do it to our best knowing there was no way we could win. After the cocktail hour, he came running over to me and said I've got it. We'll be belly dancer sumo wrestlers. It was a hysterical thought. So we got together and practiced for about an hour and got it together. After a wonderful dinner and a few more cocktails it was showtime.

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We were number 4 out of nine acts. Our turn came and we were introduced as "Recent Graduates from Miss Jelly Bellies School of Belly Dancing and Sumo-Wrestling." And we hit the stage: first doing a belly dance and then came to opposite sides of the stage! We faced off, dug into our stance, and came at each other as in charging Sumo Wrestlers. As we got face to face, we shook all over, did a complete about face and went right back into our bellie dance. We brought the wooods down. We won first prize that night. We were nominated following February for the Motorcycling Academy Awards "Best in Amateur Night." This was for the winners from about 15 other clubs amateur night. There were five nominees. And we won. What fun.

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Oh, and I forgot to mention. I did this in sobriety. Remember, we insist on having fun.

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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Thursday Night, July 24, 2008

Suffering has nothing to do with events, but with one's reaction to them. What's happening is merely what's happening. How you feel about it is another matter. July 23, Meditations from Conversations with God, Book 1 page 105

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Last night I inadvertently used the meditation for today, so today I am using the meditation from yesterday. It just so happens that the mixup makes perfect sense to me as Yesterday's reading was just what I needed tonight and vice versa. God makes no mistakes so I will go with the fact that what happened is just what was meant for me.

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The fuckits are still here but not as intense as yesterday. I also went to a meeting at Lambda at 5:15 today. To me the meeting just did not gel. But I did come away from it in a better frame of mind. I know I just was not tuned in and the sharings were just words coming out of peoples mouths. I don't think I can quote one single phrase from the meeting other than the twelve steps. My mind was just all over the place. However, I was in a room with another group of garden variety drunks staying sober one day at a time just like me. We were all sober and it just don't get much better than that.

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Tonight I am grateful for:

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God, My Higher Power.

My Sobriety.

Mamie, my doggie.

My sponsor.

Daave.

My other blogosphere friends.

MC making it to her 24th birthday today.

My fellow trudgers that continually give me inspiration and guidance on the road to happy destiny.

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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Wednesday Night, July 23, 2008

The actions of the body were meant to be reflections of a state of being, not attempts to attain a state of being. Meditations from Conversations with God Book 1,

P 185
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Hi y'all. I've seen two movies so far this week. Monday I saw Black Knight and thoroughly enjoyed it. The Joker was incredible. I'm having a senior moment right now and the actors name will not come to me, but y'all know who it is. I don't know if it is Oscar worthy but it was very good. Then yesterday I saw "Journey to the Center of the Earth." The 3D made the movie enjoyable even though I was sitty with the group of jaberwokkies in the theatre. When the lights came up I saw that these were just kids. I'm so glad I did not blast them. I DETEST Yakers at the movies. I pay my money to see the movie and hear the actors, not the attendees. I have been known to tell talkers that, even in sobriety. But I guess old age is mellowing me.

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I'm kind of going through a case of the fuckits. I just don't want to do anything, see anoyone, talk to anyone, or any of the things I usually like to do. Movies are an escape when I'm like this. I know it will pass but I also know that my own financial situation has a lot to do with it. I also know I have a lot of things to be grateful for, I just sometimes don't like to go there. But I do, and I do it on a daily basis. I may not blog everyday, or visit your blogs, however when I do I leave my mark. For me to do otherwise would be like passing you on the street or in the hallway and not speaking. But that is me, I know that everyone is not like me and I have to accept that, but that does not mean I have to like it.

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HEY HEY, in 17 minutes Mary Christine will be celebrating another year of sobriety. I will definitely have to stop by and wish her a good one. It is a miracle everytime someone adds another full year to their length of sobriety. When someone in meetings states that time is not important - that the person that got up the earliest has the most sobriety I just want to yell BULLSHIT. To me, time is important to me, it proves to me that someone before me has made it for X number of years and if they can do it, maybe I can also be a miracle and make it. It's called following in the footsteps of the one that made the path. It may get narrower, but but as long as it is there I will trudge it. It just don't get much better than that.

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Tonight I am grateful for:

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God, my Higher Power that keeps me from total insanity.

My Sobriety.

Mamie, My Schnauzer.(It's almost three months)

My sponsor.

Action in AA.

My fellow bloggers, the normies and those in recovery.

The daily miracles.

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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Tuesday Night, July 22, 2008

The people make a living doing what they love are the people who insist on doing so. July 22 Meditations from "Conversations with God" page 169

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Hi y'all. I was very fortunate during the last few years of my working career. I had my dream job. Not a lot of us get to achieve this, never thought I would, but my perseverance paid off. I had worked in the personnel/human resources arena off and on for about 20 years. I got sober in 1992, and in 1996 I landed my dream job: Director of Human Resources. The opportunity came out of nowhere. Well, a friend of mine worked for this company and remembered that I had worked in HR for several year before leaving IBM. At one point my title was Senior Personnel Specialist. I had met the owner of her company at Roz's house while still at IBM. Anyway, Roz called me and told me that Rita wanted to set up an HR department for her company. Roz told me to apply. I did not think I had the qualifications, but she insisted and I did. The interview went like clockwork. I answered all the questions and evidently impressed someone and I got the job. I kept that job for 8 years and loved it.

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When I read the meditation for today, I knew what I would write about tonight. I don't always know when I sit down and put my fingers to the keyboard, but stuff always comes out. This has been a blessing of sobriety. If I get out of the way, turn it over, and just be present things work out. What a concept. It just don't get much better than that.

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Tonight I am grateful for:

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God, my Higher Power.

My Sobriety.

Mamie, my schnauzer.

My Sponsor.

Forgetfulness being a normal thing and not alcohol induced.

Thinking things through before taking action.

Being able to enjoy the magic of movies at my age.

Twelve days til I'm 67.

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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Friday Night, July 18, 2008

There are a million aspects to Me. A billion. A trillion. You see? There is the profane and the profound, the lesser and the larger, the hollow and the holy, the ghastly and the Godly. July 18 Meditations from Conversations With God. Book 1, p 173

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Hallelujah! The twin Starbucks at West Grey and South Shepherd are going to remain open according to today's news report. I can not tell you how much sleep I have not lost over this.

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Today, my friend Joe and I went to see "Mama Mia" and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I love the music Abba, however, when it was popular, I did not even know who Abba was. I never really got into who sang what. I knew what I liked and knew what I danced to, but that was it. It just was not important to me. The only labels I really cared about back then were the ones like Chevis Regal, Smirnoff, Beefeaters, etc. Thank God, those are no longer important to me. I mean Dancing Queen - my butt was just going from side to side in my seat. I enjoyed the movie almost as I did when the musical opened in Los Angeles at the old Shubert before going to Broadway. I wanted to dance so bad, but I also know if I did I would be at the Texas Medical Center tonight.

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The pilot episode of "The Cleaner" was a rerun tonight on A & E. If you have not seen it, do. It is about this guy (Benjamin Bratt) who is in recovery and battles to help other people to make it to recovery. Tonight's episode was very moving and so true to life. It runs Tuesdays on A & E at 9 PM.

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Last night I just could not get the old keyboard to going. I sat down tonite and was going to just do the first four items of my daily gratitude list. And the above came out. I never know what I will write when I start, sometimes I have something I want to write about, or and idea, sit down and turn out what comes out. That is one of the blessings of sobriety. Turn it over. It works. It Don't get much better than that.

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Tonight I am grateful for:

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God, My Higher Power

My Sobriety

Mamie, My Doggie

My Sponsor

The snake in the washer in Maine was not in mine.

For today's post of a friend in which she talked about her addicted son. She practices "Tough Love" but did not call it that. God Bless Her.

The serenity I have had all day.

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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Wednesday Night, July 16, 2008

Every heart has its secret sorrows, which the world knows not; oftentimes we call a man cold when he is only sad. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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Good ole Micky/Patrick/asshole is so dependable. It is a guarantee that he will raise his ugly head and spread his sick regurgitation almost as sure as some deadly virus or plague. Unlike a virus or a plague it is so easy to lock this piece of regurgitation out by just enabling comment moderation. Yeah, that's the ticket. And I love the reject button. Oh if it were only as easy to lock other disgusting things from our lives, but I gladly settle for comment moderation. It is just the most pleasant way to say "FUCK OFF ASSHOLE" A friend of mine says to just ignore it and it will go away. But ya know, I just sort of enjoy and revel in the fact that he can't get in. To quote the Devil from Down Under - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Yesterday I saw a really neat movie "Brick Lane" about a Muslim family in London both before and after 9/11. Today I saw "Hellboy 2. Ho Hum. Shoulda vaited for der dvd. The characters from Trollsville reminded me of some of those in Pan's Labyrinth which is a movie I really enjoyed. Oh well, win some.

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And another great day is just ticking away. As I type there is one hour and 33 minutes left of July 16 2008. Hooray, another day of sobriety. It just doesn't get any better than that.

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Today I am grateful for:

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God, my Higher Power.

My Sobriety.

Mamie, my doggie.

My sponsor.

The countdown to 01/20/09.

A free country to live in and speak my mind.

To remember that when someone tells me if I don't agree with them to move to another country and their right to say that.

My friends and our wide variety of opinions.

Love and tolerance is our code.

Tomorrow becoming Today

For today becoming yesterday with it memories, or not.

Tomorrow will take care of itself, if I just live in today.

Daily spiritual experiences.

Daily comments on my blog.

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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.