Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Huge Gratitude

You may think this is easy, this Be Who You Really Are business, but it is the most challenging thing you'll ever do in your life. August 26 - Meditations from "Conversations With God - Book 1" page 148
Tonight I am Grateful for:
God, my Higher Power
My Sobriety
Mamie, my Schnauzer
My Sponsor
Ted Kennedy
Y'all be pretty now, ya heah!

Monday, August 10, 2009

These Eyes of Texas Are A Smiling.

Every heart has it's secret sorrows
Which the world knows not,
Often time we call a man cold
When he is only sad.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
Tonight I am grateful for:
  • God, my Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, my loving schnauzer
  • My Sponsor (on a trip to Indiana)Good visit with the retinologist today (A) The eye is much better, just floaters that are fading. (B) Cobwebs are just floaters that are breaking up. (C) Surgery is off the table right now. (D) Suggest I follow up with new glasses at this time. Will probably need new ones again in 6 months.
  • My vision insurance pays for one pair of glasses per year.
  • Being Sighted
  • All y'all's prayers.
  • My friends
  • All y'all.

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

A snit and Just a Bit of Gratitude

August 3 - If you want to know what's true for you about something, look to how you're feeling about it. Feelings are sometimes difficult to discover--and often even more difficult to acknowledge. Yet hidden in your deepest feeling is your highest truth.
My best friend forgot my birthday. It hurts. When I told him about it he gave me excuses, did not say I'm sorry, but did say Happy late birthday. I forgot his birthday 25 years ago and he read me the riot act. I sent him 31 belated birthday cards and also apologized. I'm hurt, angry, and trying to let it go. I just wanted him to say I'm sorry, that's all. I don't think I'm asking too much.
August 4 - You'll get as many chances as you want and need. You can come back again and again and again. If you do get to the next step, if you evolve to the next level, it's because you want to, not because you have to.
Hmmmmmmmmmm. Is God telling me to get over my cheap snake act and move on?
August 5 - I will continue sending you the same messages over and over again, throughout the millenia and to whatever corner of the universe you occupy. Endlessly will I send you My messages, until you have received then and held them close, calling them your own.
This greater than my little snit. To me this is God telling me he loves me and has been and always will be with me.
August 6 - It takes great courage to announce oneself as a man of God. You understand, the world will much more readily accept you as virtually anything else.
I am a man of God, and I know I have been guilty of being afraid of how others might think of me if I said so, but let me tell you that will not happen again. I will say it again - I am a man of God.
Meditations from "Conversations with God - Book 1" the above dates, pages 3, 149,5, and 145.
Tonight my gratitude is for:
  • God, my Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, my schnauzer
  • My Sponsor, leaving on a trip tomorrow.
  • My Right eye.
  • Being sighted
  • Being able to pray to let my snit go.
  • Recognizing it's EGO.
  • Movies
  • Friends
  • Trying not to be so damned sensitive
  • All y'all.
Y'all be pretty now ya heah.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Sunday 08/02/2009 - The end of being 67

The more you are, the more you can become, and the more you can become, the more you can yet be. August 2 - Meditations from "Conversations with God - Book 1" page 20
By the time most of you read this it will be Monday August 3, 2009 and it is my 68th birthday. This is my 18th sober birthday. The last birthday that I drank was on my 50th birthday in 1991. I had planned to get just absolutely stinking drunk. I had a big party with over 100 of my closest friends but I only had about 2 drinks. I was drinking scotch on the rocks out of a super sized brandy snifter. I finished the first one and started on the second one and then started opening presents and was having so much fun with all the gag gifts that I was not drinking as planned. Four of my friends decided to turn the party into a "Roast Zane" evening and they did so royally. BITCHES. The best line of the evening came when my two schnauzers ran into the living room and jumped into my lap - Buddy quipped "Oh my dear, I did not know children were involved." I gasped and cracked up and then the rest of the group followed. You see Vic and I had just split up 3 months before this, were still living together, and my friends were sort of walking on egg shells expecting me to get drunk and just clean house with VIC. Than would have been my usual m.o. but with the surprise roast and all they save us all from a disaster. It was a fun evening and little did I know that the following January I would have my last drink and become a recovering alcoholic in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.And yes, I have had fun in sobriety. Of course the Big Book says we insist on having fun. And the best part of it is that I've had lots of fun and can remember all of it the next day. That is one of the best gifts of the program.
AA Rocks.
Tonight I am grateful for:
  • God my higher power
  • My sobriety
  • Mamie, my schnauzer
  • My sponsor (We had dinner last night)
  • Sharing Sat Dinner with my sponsor, Daave, John, and Rick.
  • John treating me to dinner when I realized that I had left my wallet at home when it came check paying time.
  • Not getting stopped without my ID.
  • Sat night's speaker share and hearing about some of the people in his share that I knew from sobriety in LA.
  • That Monday is the first day of my 69th year.(HeHe)
  • Friends
  • All y'all

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.