Thursday, July 31, 2008

THURSDAY NIGHT, JULY 31, 2008

Hi. The blog is not working for me right now. I guess my expectations need to be pigeon holed. Expectations lead to disappointments which lead to resentments. I stop at resentments. I just have too many other problems right now to let the blog add to them. I really enjoy each and everyone of you (NOT YOU PATRICK/MICKY). I read each of you almost everyday. If I don't comment, I wasn't there for that day, but I do catch up. I will continue to read most days, leave a comment, and so forth. However, right now, I just am not going to be posting for a couple of weeks, probably around August 15.
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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Saturday, June 26, 2008

Hi Y'all. Several years ago there was a daily cartoon called the Perfect Squelch. I enjoyed this item when I grew old enough to understand it. And the following is an example.
An older gentleman had another appointment to see his urologist, who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was that large, unfriendly, Sumo'type wrestler woman with whom he'd had several disagreements in the pas. He politely gave her his name.
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In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HER. YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCY, RIGHT.?"
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All the patients in the waiting room snapped their head around to look at the very embarrassed man. He quickly recovered and in and equally loud voice replied, "NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION--BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT PERFORMED YOURS."
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This joke also reminds me about a motorcycle run I went on in about 1994. This run was hosted by the Constantine's of San Francisco. Friday night there was always a show and it was called guest night on the run. A friend of mine and I had put together a little number in which we were going to be belly dancers to the tune of "Money, Money" from Cabaret. Well earlier that morning my friend and his partner had a snit and my friend left. But graciously left me the two costumes. So I knew this other guy that was fairly large like me and I approached him right after lunch to do the number with me. He agreed to do so.
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So later that afternoon he and I got together to try to put our "ACT" together. It just was not working. So we decided to do it to our best knowing there was no way we could win. After the cocktail hour, he came running over to me and said I've got it. We'll be belly dancer sumo wrestlers. It was a hysterical thought. So we got together and practiced for about an hour and got it together. After a wonderful dinner and a few more cocktails it was showtime.
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We were number 4 out of nine acts. Our turn came and we were introduced as "Recent Graduates from Miss Jelly Bellies School of Belly Dancing and Sumo-Wrestling." And we hit the stage: first doing a belly dance and then came to opposite sides of the stage! We faced off, dug into our stance, and came at each other as in charging Sumo Wrestlers. As we got face to face, we shook all over, did a complete about face and went right back into our bellie dance. We brought the wooods down. We won first prize that night. We were nominated following February for the Motorcycling Academy Awards "Best in Amateur Night." This was for the winners from about 15 other clubs amateur night. There were five nominees. And we won. What fun.
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Oh, and I forgot to mention. I did this in sobriety. Remember, we insist on having fun.
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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Thursday Night, July 24, 2008

Suffering has nothing to do with events, but with one's reaction to them. What's happening is merely what's happening. How you feel about it is another matter. July 23, Meditations from Conversations with God, Book 1 page 105
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Last night I inadvertently used the meditation for today, so today I am using the meditation from yesterday. It just so happens that the mixup makes perfect sense to me as Yesterday's reading was just what I needed tonight and vice versa. God makes no mistakes so I will go with the fact that what happened is just what was meant for me.
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The fuckits are still here but not as intense as yesterday. I also went to a meeting at Lambda at 5:15 today. To me the meeting just did not gel. But I did come away from it in a better frame of mind. I know I just was not tuned in and the sharings were just words coming out of peoples mouths. I don't think I can quote one single phrase from the meeting other than the twelve steps. My mind was just all over the place. However, I was in a room with another group of garden variety drunks staying sober one day at a time just like me. We were all sober and it just don't get much better than that.
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Tonight I am grateful for:
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God, My Higher Power.
My Sobriety.
Mamie, my doggie.
My sponsor.
Daave.
My other blogosphere friends.
MC making it to her 24th birthday today.
My fellow trudgers that continually give me inspiration and guidance on the road to happy destiny.
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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Wednesday Night, July 23, 2008

The actions of the body were meant to be reflections of a state of being, not attempts to attain a state of being. Meditations from Conversations with God Book 1,
P 185
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Hi y'all. I've seen two movies so far this week. Monday I saw Black Knight and thoroughly enjoyed it. The Joker was incredible. I'm having a senior moment right now and the actors name will not come to me, but y'all know who it is. I don't know if it is Oscar worthy but it was very good. Then yesterday I saw "Journey to the Center of the Earth." The 3D made the movie enjoyable even though I was sitty with the group of jaberwokkies in the theatre. When the lights came up I saw that these were just kids. I'm so glad I did not blast them. I DETEST Yakers at the movies. I pay my money to see the movie and hear the actors, not the attendees. I have been known to tell talkers that, even in sobriety. But I guess old age is mellowing me.
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I'm kind of going through a case of the fuckits. I just don't want to do anything, see anoyone, talk to anyone, or any of the things I usually like to do. Movies are an escape when I'm like this. I know it will pass but I also know that my own financial situation has a lot to do with it. I also know I have a lot of things to be grateful for, I just sometimes don't like to go there. But I do, and I do it on a daily basis. I may not blog everyday, or visit your blogs, however when I do I leave my mark. For me to do otherwise would be like passing you on the street or in the hallway and not speaking. But that is me, I know that everyone is not like me and I have to accept that, but that does not mean I have to like it.
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HEY HEY, in 17 minutes Mary Christine will be celebrating another year of sobriety. I will definitely have to stop by and wish her a good one. It is a miracle everytime someone adds another full year to their length of sobriety. When someone in meetings states that time is not important - that the person that got up the earliest has the most sobriety I just want to yell BULLSHIT. To me, time is important to me, it proves to me that someone before me has made it for X number of years and if they can do it, maybe I can also be a miracle and make it. It's called following in the footsteps of the one that made the path. It may get narrower, but but as long as it is there I will trudge it. It just don't get much better than that.
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Tonight I am grateful for:
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God, my Higher Power that keeps me from total insanity.
My Sobriety.
Mamie, My Schnauzer.(It's almost three months)
My sponsor.
Action in AA.
My fellow bloggers, the normies and those in recovery.
The daily miracles.
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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Tuesday Night, July 22, 2008

The people make a living doing what they love are the people who insist on doing so. July 22 Meditations from "Conversations with God" page 169
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Hi y'all. I was very fortunate during the last few years of my working career. I had my dream job. Not a lot of us get to achieve this, never thought I would, but my perseverance paid off. I had worked in the personnel/human resources arena off and on for about 20 years. I got sober in 1992, and in 1996 I landed my dream job: Director of Human Resources. The opportunity came out of nowhere. Well, a friend of mine worked for this company and remembered that I had worked in HR for several year before leaving IBM. At one point my title was Senior Personnel Specialist. I had met the owner of her company at Roz's house while still at IBM. Anyway, Roz called me and told me that Rita wanted to set up an HR department for her company. Roz told me to apply. I did not think I had the qualifications, but she insisted and I did. The interview went like clockwork. I answered all the questions and evidently impressed someone and I got the job. I kept that job for 8 years and loved it.
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When I read the meditation for today, I knew what I would write about tonight. I don't always know when I sit down and put my fingers to the keyboard, but stuff always comes out. This has been a blessing of sobriety. If I get out of the way, turn it over, and just be present things work out. What a concept. It just don't get much better than that.
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Tonight I am grateful for:
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God, my Higher Power.
My Sobriety.
Mamie, my schnauzer.
My Sponsor.
Forgetfulness being a normal thing and not alcohol induced.
Thinking things through before taking action.
Being able to enjoy the magic of movies at my age.
Twelve days til I'm 67.
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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Friday Night, July 18, 2008

There are a million aspects to Me. A billion. A trillion. You see? There is the profane and the profound, the lesser and the larger, the hollow and the holy, the ghastly and the Godly. July 18 Meditations from Conversations With God. Book 1, p 173
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Hallelujah! The twin Starbucks at West Grey and South Shepherd are going to remain open according to today's news report. I can not tell you how much sleep I have not lost over this.
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Today, my friend Joe and I went to see "Mama Mia" and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I love the music Abba, however, when it was popular, I did not even know who Abba was. I never really got into who sang what. I knew what I liked and knew what I danced to, but that was it. It just was not important to me. The only labels I really cared about back then were the ones like Chevis Regal, Smirnoff, Beefeaters, etc. Thank God, those are no longer important to me. I mean Dancing Queen - my butt was just going from side to side in my seat. I enjoyed the movie almost as I did when the musical opened in Los Angeles at the old Shubert before going to Broadway. I wanted to dance so bad, but I also know if I did I would be at the Texas Medical Center tonight.
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The pilot episode of "The Cleaner" was a rerun tonight on A & E. If you have not seen it, do. It is about this guy (Benjamin Bratt) who is in recovery and battles to help other people to make it to recovery. Tonight's episode was very moving and so true to life. It runs Tuesdays on A & E at 9 PM.
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Last night I just could not get the old keyboard to going. I sat down tonite and was going to just do the first four items of my daily gratitude list. And the above came out. I never know what I will write when I start, sometimes I have something I want to write about, or and idea, sit down and turn out what comes out. That is one of the blessings of sobriety. Turn it over. It works. It Don't get much better than that.
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Tonight I am grateful for:
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God, My Higher Power
My Sobriety
Mamie, My Doggie
My Sponsor
The snake in the washer in Maine was not in mine.
For today's post of a friend in which she talked about her addicted son. She practices "Tough Love" but did not call it that. God Bless Her.
The serenity I have had all day.
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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Wednesday Night, July 16, 2008

Every heart has its secret sorrows, which the world knows not; oftentimes we call a man cold when he is only sad. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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Good ole Micky/Patrick/asshole is so dependable. It is a guarantee that he will raise his ugly head and spread his sick regurgitation almost as sure as some deadly virus or plague. Unlike a virus or a plague it is so easy to lock this piece of regurgitation out by just enabling comment moderation. Yeah, that's the ticket. And I love the reject button. Oh if it were only as easy to lock other disgusting things from our lives, but I gladly settle for comment moderation. It is just the most pleasant way to say "FUCK OFF ASSHOLE" A friend of mine says to just ignore it and it will go away. But ya know, I just sort of enjoy and revel in the fact that he can't get in. To quote the Devil from Down Under - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Yesterday I saw a really neat movie "Brick Lane" about a Muslim family in London both before and after 9/11. Today I saw "Hellboy 2. Ho Hum. Shoulda vaited for der dvd. The characters from Trollsville reminded me of some of those in Pan's Labyrinth which is a movie I really enjoyed. Oh well, win some.
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And another great day is just ticking away. As I type there is one hour and 33 minutes left of July 16 2008. Hooray, another day of sobriety. It just doesn't get any better than that.
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Today I am grateful for:
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God, my Higher Power.
My Sobriety.
Mamie, my doggie.
My sponsor.
The countdown to 01/20/09.
A free country to live in and speak my mind.
To remember that when someone tells me if I don't agree with them to move to another country and their right to say that.
My friends and our wide variety of opinions.
Love and tolerance is our code.
Tomorrow becoming Today
For today becoming yesterday with it memories, or not.
Tomorrow will take care of itself, if I just live in today.
Daily spiritual experiences.
Daily comments on my blog.
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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Tuesday Night, July 15, 2008

Having so considered our day, not omitting to take due note of things well done, and having searched our hearts with neither fear nor favor, we can truly thank God for the blessings we have received and sleep in good conscience. Page 95 , 12 & 12, last paragraph from step 10.
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What a great day to be sober. Of course any day is a great day to be sober. I really like the past few days on my friends blogs as there have been an influx of new (new to me anyway) people to the blogs and the best part are the newcomers. Hope we hear a lot from these folks. I'm concerned about Sober Alcoholic Soldier, but then I am concerned about all newcomers that just disappears. I hope this one is just something I've missed.
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I made the 12:15 Lambda step study yesterday. First time I have ever been to this meeting and only went because I had a DR. appt just before the meeting. It was a very good meeting. During the chip presentation at the meeting end, something happened that I thought was just beautiful. I wrote earlier about this man that appears to be a bit mentally imbalanced, talks to himself, has taken a chip as a newcomer after taking a 90 day chip and then taking an 8 year chip in June. I do not particularly care for this person, but I try to remember principles before personalities. This one really makes me work this part of the program. Anyway, the chip person started with the Desire Chip, a young lady took one, and then she asked if there was any one else that wanted one - it comes with a hug. At this point the gentleman jumped to his feet and took himself up there as fast as he could, he got his hug and the chip. My perception was that this guy did not really want the chip, but the offer of the hug was his trigger. I guess he is just starved for attention. I dunno, just my perception. He had a very pleased smile as he went back to his seat and kept it through the closing prayer.
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Yesterday, I got an email from a friend that a long time friend of mine in Los Angeles had died on June 28. Bill Coffey was his name. Bill and I were in the gay motorcycling community in LA. He got sober in 1976 or so. He used to come to my house on Christmas Eve and I always tried to get him to have a drink. He always said thanks but no thanks, I prefer to stay sober tonight. When I came into the program he was there for me. Shortly after my 5th birthday, he asked me to be the Saturday Night speaker at the Saturday Night Live meeting in Hollywood. I did so and was so nervous that I dared not to let go of the lectern lest I fall on my ass. I've mentioned Bill before on my blog. I am not breaking his anonymity by using his full name as he always used it. One of Bill's major concerns was how bad the Crystal Meth problem was and its devastating affects. He had been a heroin user and an alcoholic, and he said that CM was worse than heroin. He later founded Crystal Meth Anonymous. He worked tirelessly for this group although he was never a CM user. Bill was a wonderful man and has left a legacy that will help people all over this world. I know my life was enriched with his friendship. I know his is humbly taking his place in that great meeting in the afterlife.
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Today I am grateful for:
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God my Higher Power.
My Sobriety.
Mamie, my doggie.
My sponsor.
A great Saturday Night dinner, play, and speaker.
Newcomers
Old timers
Those in between
Being blessed by many sober friends.
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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Sunday, July 13, 2008

The Spaghetti Extravaganza.
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Back in the summer of 1969, my best friend Joe was giving his third spaghetti extravaganza which was always the first weekend of AUGUST.. These fests were always much fun and attended by about 200 or so people. This one was to be THE SPAGHETTI EXTRAVAGANZA. People were coming from Dallas, San Antonio, and other Texas locals, New Orlelans, and the Biloxi area. This years party was going to be at Joe's mother's house, with her permission as she was in PA visiting a couple of her daughters.
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The MONDAY BEFORE THE SPAGHETTI EXTRAVANGZA (TSE) The grocery buying process was being done according to the recipe. The non-perishables first. Tuesday Joe got home from work to find the lower level of the house flooded and the hardwood floors were starting to buckle. Not to worry it was only Tuesday and they knew people that were always getting things done for them quite quickly. So he makes the call. Well, Yess Joe, we can get right on that --- this coming Monday. PLOP HE FAINTS. No not really, but it sure would have added to the story. He explains the upcoming TSE and tells them they have got to get it done byFriday. Well, after much fritting and fretting, sighing, and a few curse words thrown in, the following Monday it was. What to do. What to do. Oh I know I'll but rent a hall saiz Joe. Now mind you this in 1969.He makes a few calls. I could hear rumbles all the way over at my house. He calls me - I don't know what I'm going to do, people have made reservations, flights, hotels, with friends, I can't just reschedule this. And a hall is out of the question - Only found one with a kitchen and it will be $1000. I asked is one without a kitchen was avail, well yes but it's $750.00 with no alcoholic beverages. Well that just won't do.
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So I have a bright idea. I discussed it with Joe and he said Oh that would be a life saver. So, I got off the phone and discussed this with my Mother, whom was living with me at the time. I told her we would put her in a hotel for the night and she would not have to help clean or anything and we would buy her dinner and have a bottle of scotch for her. Well, of course. (It was the scotch) I never told her that she really did not have a choice but I thought it would be easier if shee thought she made the decision. So, word went out via carrier pidgeon, telephone calls, (no faxes, internet, texting in those days) and all was well. We emptied the living room, dining room, and den to the garage. We set up tables in those rooms and could seat six in the breakfast room. This was done on Friday. People were starting to arrive from Biloxi and New Orleans and so forth. And the first hurricane of the season was out in the Gulf. The TSE was a hughe success. The crowd was well fed, totally shit faced and we all had a great time and about 11 PM we descended on the FARMHOUSE. All 200 plus. The next day about 15 of us attacked my house and got it back in order. Went and pickked up Mother, who wanted another bottle of scotch, obliged her, and took her home. She was amazed, you mean you had two hundred people here last night and there is no trace of it. Zane must hire you on a regular basis.
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The next day that lil o hurricane in the Gulf had become a monster and went in at Biloxi and totally devastated the area. I believe it was Hurricane Audrey. The Biloxie group was just heart broken. So they stayed here until Wednesday and went back to assess the wreckage.
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Now to make the rest of this story more understandable, My Mother was quite a character and loved her alcohol. Her tongue was laced with many four letter words and when provoked she could let go with a barage that would embarass the Sixth Fleet. So on Tuesday Morning I get this telephone call from a MAD WOMAN, A VERY MAD WOMAN, I said hi Mother, and she said - DON'T YOU FUCKING HI MOTHER ME, I AM STANDING HERE TOTALLY NAKED IN YOUR HALLWAY WITH A PLATE OF THAT GODDAMNED SPAGHETTI ON MY CHEST AND HANGING FROM THE NIPPLES OF MY GOOIE TITS. i LOST IT.
I went into hysterics, doubling over with laughter till it hurt. Now my Mother was 5'2", with read hair and about 190 pounds. The visual was just too much. My reaction just made her madder. I could hear her yelling into the phone but I could not stop laughing. Finally I composed my self and got back on the phone.
The sounds bellowin through that phone were not pretty. Then she just stops - silence-and burst into laughter. I just knew she had totally flipped out. Then she told me what had happened.
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She had changed out the linens including the clean towlels I had put out Sunday and then took a shower. When she finished her shower, she reached out for her towel and NO towel. Not a problem. The linen closet was in the hall so she march out there sop and wet, grabbed atowel pulled it out and got the surprise of her life. A total plate of spaghetti spred on her chest. GOD DAMNED she said she yell and grabbed the hall phone.
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Meanwhile back at my office my co=workers were just staring at me including my boss who motioned me into his office and asked what was so funny to disrupt the whole office. I repeated the story and he laughed. He then suggested I take the rest of the day off and go de-spaghetti my Mother, and then IF I Survived, I could make up the time that week. And I did. Needless to say this story still comes up whenever spaghetti is served. Many many laughs have been had over this. I often wanted to give Mother a two pound bag of spaghetti and a jar of sauce for Christman, but never did. I probably would have worn it.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Thursday Night, July 10, 2008

Hi, Y'all. Greetings from the hinterlands of Spring, Texas. Last Wednesday when I got ready for bed at my Sister's in Silsbee, I discovered that I had left part of my CPAP machine at home. It's for sleep apnea and it is used to keep my airways open. So I had a fitless night of sleep and we went shopping at that one and only shopping place in Metropolitan Silsbee - Wal*Mart. They also have a beauty parlor there. From the looks of most of the women there, they don't do a very good job. My sister does not go there. Anyway we did the shopping for the week and the upcoming BarBeCue on Saturday. She also got sausage for Sundays breakfast burritos. Got home unloaded the groceries, picked up the meat that had spilled on the floor in the back seat and finished that. After dinner at 5:30 I left for Houston to get the rest of my CPAP Machine.
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I took the portion that I had taken to Silsbee as I was staying at home for the night and going back in the AM. Mamie came back with me. She is really a good little traveler, almost as good as Dolly.
Anyway, got up Friday and put the complete machine in the car with Mamie. Opening the car door I smelled something funky. I immediately what it was. Yep, I found a rather swollen pound of ground spicy sausage under the back seat. I took it out and threw it in the trash, opened the windows and aired the car out. Got back to Silsbee about 1:30. I had also picked up a fresh pound of sausage at Brookshire Brothers in Kountze. All was well.
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When I got home Sunday night, I rolled into the garage, got out and smelled something dead. Oh lordy, it was the sausage. I rolled it out of the garage into the driveway and sprayed down the garage and went inside. I put the garbage out for Tuesday, it was picked up but the sausage was stuck to the bottom so I got to keep it for another few days. Gag Gag Gag. Tonight I sprayed the can, dumped the sausage into spread out newspaper, rolled it up, put it in a box and then put the past two weeks of newspapers in that can with the box on top. Hopefully it will be gone tomorrow. I have now put the cans out for Friday pickup.
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I don't know about y'all, but I could not believe that everything was open for the fourth of July except the post office and banks. That is just WRONG in my opinion. This is the most important day for this nation and it was open for SHOPPING. What happened to patriotism?
Just Wondering.
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Tonight I am Grateful for:
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God, my higher power.
My sobriety.
Mamie, my schnauzie.
My sponsor.
For the freedom to think, talk, and believe what I want to without fear of getting shot for it. (Well most of the time)
The color red - my favorite.
My fellow bloggers.
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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Wednesday Night, July 9, 2008

Hi Y'all. My eye is much better today, just a bit blurry but no squigglies. I bitch and moan and groan about my problems but in the big scope of things, I have it very good. I have my home with a very affordable mortgage. My vehicle is paid for; and I do not use my credit cards any more. I still leave home without my American Express Card and no one seems to care. I pay cash for most everything I buy, needless to say I buy very little. I used to love to go shopping and now have a house full of things that I often wonder what in the hell possessed me to buy that. Like an electric egg poacher. I had it for ten years before I took it out of the box. And I have used it not more than 4 or 5 times.
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My healths is pretty good for someone who will be 67 in 24.1 days. My doctor says I will probably live into my 80's. That scares the shit out of me. I really do not look forward to another 20 years of life. I know a lot of people do, but I do not. My Mother wanted to live to be 101 and be the first antique in the family. She went at 81. Now I am not going to hasten my departure, but I would welcome it. I want to see what the next adventure is going to be.
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Today I saw WALL-E. What a little gem of a movie. It really is not a movie for little kids. It is some really serious stuff. The theatre was full of us kids of all ages, but it was the adults doing most of the laughing. It was really over the kids heads. It is a movie that really makes you think. The scary thing to me is that Wall-E hoarded stuff but could find exactly what he needed at the time he needed it. Now I have a lot of stuff and can't find anything when I need it. The thing is I have a lot of stuff that I did not need when I bought it, and now I don't know where it is for me to find out if I can use it now. But one never knows, I just may find the thingamajig at the right moment to fix the whatchacallit. It Could Happen.
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Today I am Grateful for:
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God My Higher Power
My Sobriety
Mamie, my schnauzie.
My sponsor.
My home.
I'm never leaving it again.(yeah, right)
My Friends.
Pams blog today.
My blog posse.
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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Tuesday Night, July 8, 2008

Every heart has it's secret sorrows, which the world knows not; Often times we call a man cold when he is only sad. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
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Hi, y'all. I'm a day late on getting back to the blogosphere, but HERE I am. Nice weekend at my sister's. I came back on Sunday night rather than Monday. I just wanted to get to my bed. I was just out of sorts while I was there, no reason, just was. Really just enjoyed seeing the family and some longtime friends of theirs. Baby Isaac is a sweetheart. Eleven months, walking, and a very well behaved baby. Good food good company. Mamie behaved very well except when the fireworks went off and she came to Daddy and buried her head in my armpit.
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Yesterday I just lolled around, enjoyed being in my bed at my house. I guess I am just too old to really enjoy being elsewhere. I used to really enjoy traveling and driving, but no longer. I just want to be at home. Today I had an appointment with my endocrinologist at 1:45. I left at 1 PM and as I was driving away from the house I noticed these black squigglies in my left eye and realized I was having another retinal hemorrhage. So I called my retinologist and she was on vacation so they set me up for a 2:30 with the Dr. covering for her. So I cancelled the endo appointment and went over to see Dr. O'malley. He said yes I was having another bleedout and then he explained to me exactly what was happening and how it would affect my sight. Now these are the same things that Dr. Feigon had told me, but I was not at high anxiety as I was when she told me back in January. He also told me I did not need to worry about going blind, It will affect my sight temporarily, but it will subside. He went into a lot of detail and afterward I realized that the other Dr. has said the same, I was just more at ease and absorbed what he said. So I see her next week and I need to resched my endo appointment. I am having an adverse effect from the diabetes meds he put me on so I need to have a change. Not to worrry, it's all in Gods time, not mine. I have to keep reminding myself of that.
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Tonight I am grateful for:
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God, my higher power.
My sobriety.
Mamie, my doggie.
My sponsor.
A safe and sane July 4th.
That I overcame the anxiety of the drinking that went on Saturday at my sister's. (It always happens on Saturday, it just seemed it was more this time and I was very uncomfortable, or maybe it was just another of the side effects of being out of sorts.)
Being home.
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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Tuesday Night, July 1, 2008

Every heart has it's secret sorrow, which the world knows not; and oftentimes we call a man cold when he is only sad. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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Patrick/Micky go fuck yourself - oh I'm so sorry, you can't. You have the world's smallest dick.
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Tomorrow I am off for Silsbee to spend the next 6 days at my sister's. She and her son, Sam are doing a Barbecue on Saturday and they do a jamb up job. Usually brisket, ribs, chicken, links, and some of my sisters 3 bean salad, and who knows what else. So it will be a feast. Rosalie's stepdaughter, Donna, will be there and maybe her daughter with her new son Isaac. He is 11 months old and I have not seen him yet. Neither has Rosalie or Sam. So it will be good to see them all. Then they go home (Houston) on Sunday and I will on Monday. Saturday night will be wild, we will probably play dominoes and Rosalie will stay up until the bewitching hour of 9PM. She usually goes to bed at 6:30. I do enjoy those family game nights.
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Today I saw my retinologist and she is very pleased with the healing of my left eye. My vision has improved much more than she had envisioned. That news was pleasing to the ear. She gave me a prescription for eye drops to use 3 times daily for the next two months. Then I see her again on Sept 15. I obviously misunderstood her the last time I saw her about being able to get new glasses in August. It won't be until October or November. But I am OK with that as the prognosis is very good. THANK YOU GOD.
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This coming Independence Day weekend will be my 17th 4th of July as a Sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous. It just gets better and better. I wants me some more of that.
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Rosalie's computer is still on the fritz so no posting until next Monday. See ya.
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Tonight I am grateful for:
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God, my higher power that helps me keep
My Sobriety
My doggie, Mamie.
My sponsor.
The friend that just keeps trudging when the plate is overflowing and he just continues to be an inspiration.
Memories
Having lost 21 lbs in the last two months - down to a mere 305.
Another trip to Rosalie's.
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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.
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