Wednesday, December 31, 2008

HAPPY NEW YEAR - #&*KING FIREWORKS

December 31 - You want bells and whistles? I'll see what I can arrange. Meditations from "Conversations with God, Book 1" page 59
Pop Pop, Bang Bang. Mamie is going nuts with all the fireworks. Bless her heart she is sticking to me like glue. She had to go outside but would only take a couple of steps and look back at me. I walked her out to the grass in the backyard and she just peeed. Bam Bam POP POP. She finished, yelped and ran to the back door just a carrying on. I got her inside and she just jumped up to my chest. Poor little thing. I just have to hold her and keep her calm. She's ok as long as she is not more than a foot from me. Now if I could just find a HUZ-Band like that I'd be as happy as a flea lost on a dog.
I'm staying home tonight. I stayed home last year for the first time in my adult life. New Years as home was not as bad as I thought it would be. I rather enjoyed it. Sobriety does wonders don't you agree. When I was out there guzzling up all the liquor I could wrap my lips around, I wouldn't stay home alone for nothing. Now I am comfortable with me and I thank God for that. I know I'm crazy as a loon sometimes, but I can live with that. It's a great day when I can remember the whole of the day past and don't wonder what in the hell I did last night. This is my 18th SOBER New Years Eve and it just keeps getting better.
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Tonight I am grateful for:
  • GOD, my Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie my OCD Schnauzer
  • My Sponsor (who listened to all my ranting today)
  • There is 2 hours and 35 minutes left of 2008.
  • And that is in the now.
  • All y'all

Now y'all be pretty, ya heah.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Five day synopsis

December 30 - My Truth--and your surest help in time of need--is as awesome as the night sky, and as simply, uncontrovertibly, trustful as a baby's gurgle. It is a loud as a pounding heartbeat--and as quiet as a breath taken in unity with Me. Meditations from "Conversations with God - Book 1" page 210.
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The following bullets are some things that have happened in the last five days that I want to share. I want to expand on some of them in the coming days, but just not in the right space, mentally, to do so right now. But right here and now I am Sober, I do not have a desire to drink, I do wish I could just disappear, know that I won't - damned it. But I also know that God is with me and I know there is only one pair of footpints on the ground right now. It will get better, it always does, I just do not like the ride at this moment. But I won't drink no matter what.
  • Lasted less than 22 hrs at Rosalie's.
  • Had Christmas Dinner with Joe, his sister and her husband and their son from Boston.
  • Friday - 10 AM meeting. Left the 12:15 meeting as I was having one of the worst panic/anxiety attacks I have had in a long time.
  • Realize I need to reschedule my psych appts back to weekly instead of the monthly we had just set up on Dec 23.
  • Saturday - Dinner with a group celebrating Dorians 4th AA birthday. Went to Birthday Meeting at Lambda, had to leave after Dorian and Rodney had received their chips. Tears started and by the time I drove away, I was bawling.
  • Sunday felt a bit better. Went to see a Movie - Frost/Nixon
  • Mental status improved.
  • Monday nondescript. But Mental state improving.
  • Tuesday - woke up with a huge bleed in my left eye. It was red and black. Called the Dr. - out til Monday - but called and determined for me to restart the eye drops and have a 2:45 appt for Monday, 01-04-09. Also no exertion or stress - ROFLMAO.
  • A long long long day. Can't read, can't watch TV. Just resting, listening to TV and music, mental status like a ball on a rubber string tied to a wooden racket. Remember those. Read blogs slowly - next best thing to a meeting.

Tonight I am grateful for:

  1. God, my Higher Power (He is working overtime right now)
  2. My Sobriety (Not in jeopardy)
  3. Mamie, my OCD Schnauzer (extra loving and close to me these past few days)
  4. My Sponsor (going through some tough health problems)
  5. I am not suicidal - a blessing of sobriety.
  6. A nice warm house here in France. (Jeanie, a Lambda friend, calls isolation her trip to France. So that sort of lends a brighter light to it)
  7. SPIRITUAL STRENGTH.
  8. My right eye.
  9. All Y'all.

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Yes, Just 2 more days.

December 29 - You must see yourself as worthy before you can see another as worthy. You must first see yourself as blessed before you can see another another as blessed. You must first know your Self to be holy before you can acknowledge holiness in another.
Tonight I am grateful for:
  • God, My Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie my schnauzer
  • My Sponsor
  • The Big Book
  • Page 449 (I've used it a lot these last few days)
  • All Y'all

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Escape from the Perils of Pauline

December 23 - No one does anything he doesn't want to do.
December 24 - You are peace and joy and light. Meditations from "Conversations with God Book 1" pages 186 and 86
Lordy, lordy, lordy. That's exactly what I feel like I am doing. Sans railroad track. My furnace is still down, now to be fixed until Wednesday AM.
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The house behind me burned to the ground this morning between 4:30 and 7:00 AM. Thank the Lord that the house was empty and no one was hurt. There is only a brick shell standing on that lot now. But this neighborhood was really going pop, crackle, and snap earlier today.
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I am leaving by noon tomorrow and going to Rosalie's for Christmas. My plan at this time is to stay until Sunday. However, two of my friends are taking 4 and 5 year chips Saturday night and I would like to be here for that. I'll just see how the days play out. Rosalie still has not replaced her computer so I will be out of touch for a few days. So y'all have
  • A Very Merry Christmas
  • Love and good wishes to all.

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah!

Monday, December 22, 2008

OY Vey, What a Day!

December 22 - If a snowflake is utterly perfect to its design, do you not think the same could be said about something as magnificent as your life? Meditations from "Conversations with God - Book 1, pg 46
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Hey there, my alkie friends. How the hell are ya? I really cannot complain and I'm not, just telling what this day has dealt out to me. Not a calamity either, I've just had easier days, and I sure as hell have had much much worse days.
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Today started out ok. I awakened to the sound of my furnace heating up the rest of the house, I keep my bedroom cool as I sleep better in the cool or the cold. I left my house around 1:30 to go to the retinologist at 2:30. The appointment was to check out my left eye to see how successful the last laser surgery was. Both eyes were dilated, the dye was infused and a few minutes later the picture taking of my eyes began. That took about 30 minutes. Now the infusion did not go real well. I am a phlebotomist nightmare as I have veins that avoid the needle. I would not have made a good junkie. After three attempts, success. Dr. Feigon went over the results with me and the news was not what I wanted to hear. The good news is that the laser surgery was partially successful. My sight is better but the blood is not flowing properly in the artery in my eyer. So I go back on Jan 28 and if no significant improvement, which she doubts, it will be necessary to have eye surgery - the cutting type. The type that will require hospitalization. So I left at 4:15 and decided to go to Lambda for the 5:15 meeting which I found to be a very good meeting. I started home and realized going to the meeting was a big mistake because I could not see with the sunglasses I wear after the dilation and the lighs were just a glare of stars shining back. So it was a difficult drive home.
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Arriving home, the house was cold. I turned on the heat and did a couple of things and realized the heat did not come on. Double checked and the furnace would not come on. So I followed the troubled shooting directions and it did not work. So I called the Co. that installed the NEW system May 19 2008. Repairman arrived about 9:00 PM. Turns out the furnace shorted out the breaker, he made a fix so I will have heat tonight, but no air cond. Then he will be back in the AM to install two new breakers. It appears all of this will be covered by my warranty. Good News! Bad NEWS- I had to pay a $144.00 service call fee. Could have been much worse.
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So, yeah, it was not a good day. But again, the Good News is that I just rolled with the news both times. I did not have an anxiety attack or a hissy fit or - well you get the picture. I just handled each situation and let each one roll into it's own solution. Again the promises came to mind - we will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. Well, now my friends that sounds well and good, but good ole God was just shooting me some of His good ole shots, and leading me through to the other side. And drinking never crossed my mind. I started out the day with sobriety intact, and wound the day up with sobriety intact. It just does not get any better than that.
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Tonight I am grateful for:
  • God, my Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, my OCD schnauzer
  • My Sponsor's encouragement as I started my day.
  • To be able to process and accept negative news.
  • A very good speaker at Lambda's Saturday Speaker Mtg.
  • All y'all

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Why I Love Christmas

December 18 - Religion is your attempt to speak of the unspeakable. It does not do a very good job. Meditations from "Conversations With God - Book 1", page 195
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Well, Ah'll just be danged, Ah've been tagged for why Ah love Christmaaas by Findon. Thanks dahlink.
  1. I love the lights of Christmas. First one house on the block. One on another block. And then they just keep multiplying until the whole neighborhood is decked out is sparkling lights of red, white, green, blue, with snowmen or nativity scenes or?. It's just magical.
  2. The music of Christmas. Holy Night, Little Drummer Boy (Rosalie's favorite), Ava Maria, It's Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas, Silver Bells, etc. Sunday night I was at Joe's and about 12 or so tandem bikes rode by all decked out with the riders singing carols an bells aringing as they peddled.
  3. The Christmas Tree and the rest of the house. I always decorated until the house was overflowing with decorations. I particularly lke the combination of red and White. The only thing that did not get decorated was the bedrooms. We has a rather ornate ornamental frame around the picture window int the living room of our spanish architecture house. The tree was done red lights and red and whit ornaments. The frame was doen in white twinkel lights without the damned flash. At that time we lived in predominatelly jewish neighborhool and the joke amon our friends was that we had to get a variance from the homeowners association to decorate for Christmas.Lame but funny - the first year.
  4. Open House on Christmas Eve. This was one of the highlites of the year. We always had a full bar plus virgin eggnog with whiskey and brandy sitting beside the punchbowl. I cooked for two or three days for this evening and really put out a spread. There was hardly ever anything left. In the early days of adulthood the Open House was small, but it grew and grew. I did this for about 25 years.
  5. Midnight Christmas Eve Service at First Methodist on Main Street - Houston Tex 1961. This was probably my most favorite Christmas Eve, never to be repeated. I was still living with my Mother at home and we went to the Christmas Eve service. She was a bit hootched, I had a few, but did not match her embibement. The church was gorgeous - candles and poinsettas and wonderful music from the pipe organ. Dr. Charles Allen was the pastor in those days and we just loved him. We sang lots of Christmas Carols, had a short sermon, and closed with Holy Night. Then the inside lights went out, and a lone candle was lit and carried to the first seat in the first row next to the aisel by Dr Allen. The assistant pastors did the same on the other aisles and there were two upstairs. The congregation passed the lighting to the person next to them and then Dr. Allen started the procession up the aisle and out of the Church. As we went up the aisle, Dr. Allen lit the two candles on the first seat in each row and the church just started to glow and the light just got brighter and brighter. There were at least 2000 people at that service. Then we went out the front door and the whole church emptied out onto the sidewalks and we stood about 4 - 5 deep for the full block of Main Street and around both of the side streets. It was in the 20's that night. Passing motorists stopped, got out of their cars and were given a candle and we were out there for about 30 minutes just singing and freezing. It was a glorious evening and one that I have never forgotten. And it seems it was just last week.
  6. Christmas Dinner - I have cooked Christmas Dinner for most of my adult life since I was 21. Probably missed about 5 of them going to one of my sisters' houses or whatever. I loved to cook, still do, but it's not the same for one. I've done about three or four Christmas Dinner's since I've been sober. But It's just too hard to do by myself. In the earlier years I did sort of an Orphan's Christmas - I did the Turkey, Cornbread Dressing (Southern Style), and the gravy. Then I assigned dishes from the menu to one of the Orphans. The Orphans were my friends that did not go home, or that would have been alone on Christmas Day. The last year I did this was 1970. We had three turkeys, a ham, dressing, yams, corn, curried peas, waldorf salad, that damned green bean casserole, a cake or two, and pies. Those who could not cook would bring two bottles of rose' wine. Christmas Dinner, 1970 we had 47 people. The house was packed overflowing out onto the front porch and the back yard and the garage. It was quite festive.
  7. Christmas of 1964 was a Christmas of Memory. I shared a house at 2412 Elment Street with a good friend and his lover du jour. I did the meal and my best girlfriend Jerrye, Mother, and my sister Rosalie joined us with my Roomie Buddy and his LDJ Bob. I did the whole thing and my Mother was driving me nuts. Why are you putting that in it, I never did that. Oh you left out the -------.I almost grabbed her, stuffed her mouth and put her in the oven, but I chose to have another drink. We were all crocked by dinner time. The six of us sat down and just pigged out. Buddy and Bob were sitting on one side, I was at the head of the table and Mohter was on the other end with Rosalie sitting next to her and Jerrye sitting next to me. One by one we each finished eating. There were many toasts. The last one Rosalie and I damned near died on. Mother clanked her glass, and said Zane baby fill em up. I did and then she gave a toast. She raised her glass, patted herself on her rather large tummy, and said to a Good Meal. Good Company, and excuse me but I have to go take an enama so I can make more room for this fucking turkey and trimmings. Buddy, Bob, and Jerry just howled with laughter. I started to laugh until I saw Rosalie's face and she gave me that look, well she's your Mother. Rosalie later said she was absolutely mortified. I still laugh about it, but Rosalie has not to this day seen the humor in it.

That was 1970 and I drank until 1992. This will be my 18th sober Christmas. I will be spending it with Rosalie. We got past the Thanksgiving event. I just chalked it up to FAMILY ties. Of course a good talk with my sponsor helped also. Christmas's are different now, they are SOBER. I remember all of each and everyone. Well, sometimes I have a brain Fart and forget, but it isn't ole John Barleycorn or Juan Tequilla that takes my memory away. Funny how I never have blackouts anymore. I've been told that that does not happen as long as I am sober. And I intend to stay sober. I love being sober. I love Alcoholics Anonymous and the life it has afforded me. Of course, 99% of the credit goes to God, my Higher Power. It just does not get much better than that.

Tonight I am grateful for:

  • God My Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, My OCD schnauzer.
  • My Sponsor
  • Wonderful Memories
  • Being given the gift of accepting the not so wonderful memories.
  • All Y'all.

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

A 3.5 OZ PORTERHOUSE?

December 17 - In seeking to be Me, the soul has a grand job ahead of it: an enormous menu of beingness from which to choose. And that is what it is doing in this moment now. Meditations from "Conversations with God, Book 1" page 195
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Yesterday's post has proven to be very cathartic. I felt lighter soon after finishing it. And then today, as I read the comments from all y'all, I felt so blessed to have received the word of love from each of you. Thank you so very much.
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I was tagged by Findon to do the list of 5 things I like about Christmas. I will probably do that tomorrow night. I love the things I have read on some of your blogs. I love the way we are all spirited this time of year rather than the "spirits" we used to excess.
Talk about improvement.
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Today was my last Diabetic Class and today we had menu planning and carb counting. Now all I have to do is to start living and eating according to plan. I'm a big meat eater and I'm limited to 3.5 oz of meat at any one meal. I'm sorry, but where in the HELL does one find a 3.5 Porterhouse. I'll try. A 3.5 oz porterhouse, fillet, spencer, ny strip, pork chop??????????????? Now that will be a challenge.
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Tonight I am grateful for:
  • God, my Hihger Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, my OCD schnauzer
  • My Sponsor
  • No more Christmas pictures of me on floor - DRUNK.
  • All y'all

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Just a Good Case of Fukits or Its My Whine and I'll Cry If I Want To.

December 16 - The soul's decision precedes the body's action in a highly conscious person. Meditation from "Conversations with God, Book 1, page 185
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I'm doing my best to get though a massive overdose of the Fukits. You know that feeling when you feel like no one cares, no one loves you, people are nice to you only because it's part of "the plot." PART OF THE PLOT? That sounds so Junior High School. I don't know if it is the time of year or what. Christmas Season used to be my most favorite time of the year. Especially when I had a partner. But that all ended in 1991 and I have not had that type of feeling for the Holidays as I always did. Having a partner just made the holidays so much more meaningful because there was someone "special" to plan with and for. And now what used to be such a joyous time of year, is just another month to get through. The thought of decorating or sending out cards is just another of those jobs that seem to be too much to carry out. I laugh and joke about it but inside I am crying. And I know that no one can fix this but ME.
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It's been a quite awhile since I have fallen into one of these depressions that is based on being alone. Not lonely, but being alone. Not by myself, but being alone. There is such a difference. I just still, after 17 years, do not understand how someone can just stop loving someone. How does love die? How do you just throw someone away? How can one do that to one that you have told you love for years. And than one day that person gets a phone call at work and is told that "I do not love you anymore." And of course, that person that received the call was me. I fell in love with Vic when I first saw him on April 4 1981. And that love is still alive and well within my heart. I am not one to throw someone away. You throw old socks, clothes, or broken things away. Not someone.
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Now I do not think I am "pining away" over a lost love. I truly was and still am in love with that one man with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life. No, I did not grab hold and try to hang on, I have more pride than to do that. I did let him know how much I cared and still do. I did let him go to "fly" and it was not to be because he sure as hell has not come back since. We are still in touch and have remained friends. But over the years I have reached out less and less. To do otherwise just seems to me to be so "needy." And I hate the thought of ever appearing to be like that.
Again pride.
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This is the first time I have shared these feelings with my AA bloggers. I share everything else so why not. I remember several years ago one of my best friends died of Aids in 1994. His partner told me a few months later that he did not know how I kept going after I was dumped. (his words, not mine) He also told me he was more able to accept Richard's loss as he knew it was something neither one of them could control. I had never thought of that kind of a loss in those words. Wow! I talked to my therapist and my psych about this and we concluded this was good for me to hear. Of course we did not come to this conclusion immediately but over a few weeks time we got there. Or maybe I should restate and say after talking to them for weeks I came to see that we had gotten there. We did what I could not do by myself. Of course God was there all along and I could not have made it without him. It was about this time that I realized that God had been carrying me for the last three years or so and that with his help through others that I was beginning to heel. And the heeling continues. But it used to be one foot forward and three back and now it is three forward and 1 back every so often. I have also come to realize that I have no control over people places or things. Which brings me to acceptance. I have accepted what happened, I still do not understand it. I'm just fortunate that I am still filled with love for Vic. I am grateful that it did not turn to hate and bitterness. That would be hard to live with. (I know its a preposition but so......)
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The acceptance has come through my work with therapy and also through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. There are no accidents. Some things are just meant to be and nothing can be done to avoid or undo them. And to be bitter and question God's wisdom, it is so much better to slide into acceptance. Without acceptance, I really do not think I could go on with living my life. And all I've had to do is to be sober, practice the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous in all of my affairs. I have to live in the promises such as we will not regret the past nor wish to close the door on it. ANd yes, somedays the trudging is deeper and heavier than the day before. But as long as I can remember that you don't drink no matter what, and remember the WE and not I, that I will continue to live in the Now in the wonderful world of SOBRIETY. It just does not get much better than that.
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Tonight I am Grateful for:
  • God, My Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, my OCD schnauzer
  • My Sponsor
  • Being able to express myself without throwing a pity party.(I think)
  • Continually striving for acceptance
  • All y'all

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Just A Sober Saturday Night

It's Saturday Night and I just got paid................
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One of my favorite ole rock and roll songs. I loved it when Rock and Roll came into being. OMG. All the adults thought we were just terrible, that damned vulgar music was going to send us all to hell. What the hell would they think of today's Rap. Worse that we do - it's that damned vulgar music (really vulgar with those "f" "c" "n" words) Now tell me how many rap songs can be hummed. Course I don't really listen to that crap except when I am forced to by a BOOMbox on wheels that bumps my bod like I was a drum. And that damned car is two blocks away.
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Rock and Roll came out before I started drinking. Well, actually about the First year that I drank on a regular basis. I was 14/15 and we lived in East Texas in San Augustine. Did me some moonshine in those days. It was a "dry" county so booze was easily available for all from any bootlegger around. We had a special one over in the "quarter". Five of us shared a quart each day at lunch. Coca cola and moonshine or white lightening, Broiler Burger and fries. Lunch was followed by 4th period English class. We gave that poor woman (the teacher) a run for her money. Five of us very sophisticated ole country boys just hootched up and loaded. Great comics - all of us. Be quiet - go sit at your desk and teach you ole bat. One day Mrs. Miller and I were into it, and I threw my Literature book at her. The principal walked in just as the book left my hand and I am here to tell you that book took 12 months to go from my hand to the front of the room missing Mrs. Miller only because she moved. Well, the principal had come for me anyway. My Mother was in his office. Timing was off just a bit. That was my last. year of drinking in high school. My Mother talked the P out of suspending me, so I got 12 swats, with my pants around my ankles and Mother sitting there hootched herself and just glaring at me. I don't know which hurt the most, the swats or her being witness to the welts being made on my poor bare bottom. Today that would get the "P" put in jail.
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I still love Rock N Roll. But it's just not like it was back in 1956. the greatest cars ever, the best music ever, and then I grew up. But I won't go into that story. We all know where that took us. I'm just glad I'm where I'm at tonight. At home after an AA speaker meeting, and Its Saturday night and I'm so sober. Thank You God.
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Now y'all be pretty, ya heah!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Just trudging along

Bless every person and condition, and give thanks. Thus you affirm the perfection of God's creation--and show your faith in it. Meditations from "Conversations with God, Book One" page 46
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The power of faith really came through this meditation for me this night. As I was signing in, I was just going to share about not much going on, no special day, just a nothing day. Then I read this meditation just before I started typing. Then a flood of what had transpired during this very short day - I slept until 1:53 or so - and then went to the movie, Twilight. The photography of this movie was beautiful. Story line was ok, but I am still awed by the beauty of that part of the country. It was supposed to be Washington State and I believe it was.
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Then I had a recollection of the road trip I took in July of 2002 to see my sister Myrna in Seattle. I took the coast highway from San Francisco to Tacoma. It a very gorgeous and peaceful drive. I took a lot of pictures, but they just did not do the scenery justice. I spent the night in a quaint little town on the Washington/Oregon Border, the name escapes me at the moment, but I remember the name of the town is what made me make that my destination for the first day of the trek from San Francisco to Seattle. The next day I continued my trip to Seattle, arriving there about 7 PM, just in time for Myrna's dinner of roast beef, potatoes, onions, and carrots.
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Myrna is my half-sister from my Father. We had only met in April 1983 at our father's funeral. I had always knows about her, but she never knew I existed. Her Mother was Dad's first wife, my Mother was his second and then he went on to have eight more wives. Yep ten wives. Myrna and Frank and their sons came to visit Vic and I in our home in Los Angeles in 1985. We had a great visit and she had been begging me to please come to Seattle. Those were in my drinking days and I remember her telling me that I was definitely a McM.......by the way I drank. Anyway by the time I made it to Seattle, I was 11.5 years sober. Myrna and Frank and I had a great time together. We went all over Seattle, took the ferry over to Victoria in Vancouver and the next day we had lunch in the restaurant at the top of the space needle. They were so gracious as hosts, would not let me pay for anything. I was visiting and they were hosts and that was just the way it was.
During this visit I also visited some friends over in Port Angeles - an Island across the Sound from Seattle. Myrna took me over to the gay section of Seattle and showed me the route of Seattle's Gay Pride Parade. We had never discussed my being Gay, but then we did not need to. It seems her brother Patrick, my half-brother, was also gay. He was killed in 1961 in an auto accident.
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I also attended a couple of AA meetings at the Gay AA club in Seattle. This was in the second week of July and not too long after the Gay Pride Festival there. There were about 20 or so attendees. When they asked for new or people with less than 30 days, I remember more than half of the meeting stood up. During the discussion and shares I learned that over half of the members of this AA club had gone to the Dance on Saturday and just got shit faced. They came back en masse to the Sunday meeting. That really troubled me as I always heard about the we of the program. If going to a slippery place to go with other AAers. They did this, but they all went out. So even though this is a we program, this taught me that each of us is responsible for our own actions. Each of us is responsible for our own sobriety. Did this cause me to abandon the "WE" of the program. Absolutely not. Just because of this isolated incident, it did not shake my faith in Alcoholics Anonymous. But it did strengthen my responsibility to myself. I am very grateful for that experience, I am very grateful for Alcoholics Anonymous, and I am very grateful that I am Sober today. It just not get much better than that.
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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

More Laws of Ultimate Reality

December 11 - Turn toward ME and away from anything unlike Me. Meditations from "Conversations with God, Book 1" page 104
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  1. Law of the Theatre - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
  2. The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
  3. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
  4. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carper/rug.
  5. Law of Logical Argument - Any thing is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
  6. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
  7. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
  8. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
  9. Doctors Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

Tonight I am grateful for:

  • God, my Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, my OCD schnauzer
  • My Sponsor
  • The wonder of yesterday's snow.
  • That it was not here for days.
  • All y'all.

Now y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

MILK and Snow.

December 10 - Are you going to be in a place called fear, or in a place called love? Where are you -- and where are you coming from -- as you encounter life? Meditation from "Conversations with God, Bood 1 pg 172
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What a wonderful meditation for today, especially today. You see I went to the movie this afternoon and saw "MILK." I met the man once in 1977 in San Francisco. I just thought of him as another gay activist and thought well of him. I lived through the fear of Proposition 6, Anita Bryant, Briggs, and all that stuff. I also lived with it. I remember some of the snickers about Milk - oh here he runs again or some such. Today I thank God for MILK and people like him. Now don't get your panties in a sscootch, I'm not politicizing the moment. I'm just saying he lived in love, he was an example of living in love. It is because of people like him that I live in love today and not the ever engrossing fear of the 60's and 70's.
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And so it is with sobriety. I live in a new kind of love today. And very little fear, unless my daily spiritual quotient is not filled. And if it is not filled it is because I am not spiritually fit for that day. So I have to work to be sure that I am fit. And participating in the recovery I find on the blogosphere is just incredible. I find a lot of love and acceptance here. And there is no message of hate or fear. Just a message of loving acceptance. I love all of you for that. I love all of you regardless of your station in life, your sexual orientation, you religious beliefs, or your own personal politics. You all give me a wonderful gift on a daily basis. Sober Acceptance.
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Ok, now about the snow. As I was driving home this afternoon just about the time I passed the beltway heading North I noticed a few splashes on my windshield that was not a regular raindrop. Then I noticed that it was snowing. In Houston, comma, Texas. On December 10, 2008. The last time it snowed here was Christmas Eve into Christmas day in 2004. It was glorius. My Christmas music was just a blaring on my radio - 99.1. It was just a wonder. I am always just mesmerized by snow and today was no different. I stopped for some $1.49 gas at HEB, exchanged wonderment with other drivers and home I went. The roofs in the neighborhood had a white cover on them. I got out my camera, went in the house and brought Mamie out and started Snapping Pictures. Mamie crapped in the front yard across the street. Just a little brown pile of baby logs steaming in the snow. I got some pictures of the kids in the nh with their eyes lit up with the wonderment only a child can convey. Then I made it back home and stopped across the street and Mamie's pile of logs was covered with white erasing the ugly presence of crap. WE NEED MORE SNOW! I was given a chance to see the world through the wonderment of the children of my NH and I am so grateful for that. I thank God for that moment of beauty and tranquility. I may live to be 90 (oh lord) but I will never experience that exact moment or feeling again. I am so grateful for the gift of sobriety that afforded me the presence to enjoy one of God's wonders. It just does not get much better than that.
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Tonight I am Grateful for:
  • God, my Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, my OCD schnauzer
  • My Sponsor
  • All of the above
  • Cooking a pot of beef stew and a pan of cornbread
  • Enjoying a fire in my fireplace.(Better n a #3 washtub)
  • All y'all.
  • Now y'all be pretty, ya heah!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

We'll just see what today's blog will bring forth.

December 9 - Life's irony is that as soon as world goods and world success are of no concern to you, the way is open for them to flow to you. Meditations from Conversations with God, Book 1, page 176
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Today a friend of mine, Joe, sent me an article from the New York Times written by an alcoholic titled something like "it's the holidays, have just one." I forwarded it to some of you whose emails I have. Please, I am not soliciting your email address especially over the blogosphere. The last thing any of us needs is for "MICKEY-MICHAEL PATRICK DAVID" to have access to a legitimate acces to our homes. Geez what aa thought. You could probably find it by going to the New York Times website. I found it to be a very good read. To net it out "one is never enough, a thousand isn't either" or sum such saying, but you know what I am trying to say. Just like I can actually spell some, just wanted to see if you noticed or not.
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Today, I went to my 3rd Diabetes class. It covered foot care, and nutrition. Next Wednesday, 12-17-08 is my final class for the year and it will be on meal planning.
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Tonight I am grateful for:
  • God my Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie my OCD schnauzer
  • My Sponsor
  • Ability to still learn (teachability?)
  • The wonderful cold weather that is arriving as I blog.
  • That everyone is back from their breaks.
  • All y'all

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Ten things you don't know about me.

Page 68 - 69 Now about sex. Many of us needed an overhauling there. But above all, we tried to sensible on this question. It's so easy to get way off the track. Here we find human opinions running to extremes--absurd extremes, perhaps..............Then we have the voices who cry for sex and more sex: who bewail the institution of marriage: who think that most of the troubles of the race are traceable to sex causes...........We want to stay out of this controversy. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS.
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The above quote could have been ripped from the headlines of today's newspapers, plucked from the internet news, or heard and seen on radio or television. It just amazes me that this came from the writers of the BIG BOOK and published for the first time 1939. Now that in itself is a miracle. And it is just one of many that are outlined in the first 164 pages of Alcoholics Anonymous.
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No, this is not going to be a soapbox posting. It is just what came to mind when I started to put together the :10 Things List, that Findon, bless his bloody little heart, tagged me to do last Thursday. So here goes.
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Ten Things You Don't Know About Me.
  1. My manipulation and lying started whey I pooped in the living room at the age of 3 and then rolled it under the rug. Totally denied any knowledge of the bulge under the rug.
  2. At age 7, a girl - Cora Lee - asked me to "fuck her" so we could have a baby when we grew up. Naturally this seemed exciting so I asked her what we had to do. She repeated the question and I asked how did we do that. She explained and showed me where to put my huh huh into her unh unh. I was terrified and told her NO, what if I got stuck.That night at dinner I told my Mother and Stepdad that Cora Lee asked me to Fuck her. and they both damned near choked on their dinner. My Mother teased me about that until she died.
  3. Cora Lee was the closest thing to sex with a female that I ever experienced.
  4. My half-brother from my Dad, two of his brothers were also gay. I learned about my brother from my Sister Myrna and about my uncles from my stepmother. Mother Lela's sister Audie was a lesbian and bought a house and lived together with her girlfriend for over 50 years. Mother told me about this.
  5. I thought there was hope for me when Christine Jorgenson had her sex change operation in Sweden in 1952. I thought well, I could do that but I sure would have to sneak over there.
  6. At 12 I read about gays in Male Magazine and knew that was what I was and the thoughts of the sex change disappeared.
  7. In my sophomore year in high school I dated two girls for show and dated 4 boys for sex.
  8. I had a 9 year affair with a man I worked with at Harris County Criminal Courts Building. He had stood me up for lunch one day and at the end of the day, the elevator stopped, the door opened and he was standing right there in front, I kicked him at hard as I could and went back into the library where I worked. I found out at the end of the 9 year affair that he was married. Man I was naive.
  9. I tried suicide twice: 1963 over a "broken romance" with gas. My roommates found me. 1974 with a quart of scotch and 37 Valium. Slept for two days.
  10. I came out as gay socially when I was 19 in 1960 here in Houston, Texas. There was no tolerance for gays or lesbians in the workplace. That has changed in most states today, but in the state of Texas it is still legal to fire someone just because they are gay. I was fortunate to work for IBM from 1966 to 1992 - sexual orientation was never a concern at IBM. I have been grateful for that for my working career.

So, I am not going to tag anyone else. I do not think I have ever done that before. However this is not to be construed as a pledge to never tag anyone. Only the Shadow knows................

Tonight I am grateful for.

  • God my Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, my OCD schnauzer
  • My Sponsor (Helps me so much when I do talk to him)
  • Finally getting to not feeling as if I am intruding when I talk to a sponsor. That's been a big problem for me.
  • All y'all

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Just Another Sober Day.

December 4 - Every human thought, and every human action, is based in either love or fear. There is no other human motivation. Meditations from Conversations with God, Book 1, page 15
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The LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY
  • Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
  • Law of Gravity - Any too, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
  • Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
  • Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
  • Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
  • Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
  • Law of the Bath - When the body if fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
  • Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
  • Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
  • Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Another great day of sobriety is nearing an end. I made it to the 12:15 at Lambda and had lunch with the guys. My 48's are starting to feel loose, I have not lost another pound, but I'm thinking of reviving and putting life back into my 46's. That life will be mine. I don't really care if I lose another pound or not as long as this ole bod keeps shrinking. Please, please, please, Mister Gravity leave me alone for a bit. My chins are between my tits, my nips are down to my navel, and............OK I'll stop there. But you get the drift and it ain't the continental drift. But regardless (or to drive a word techie nuts, irregardless) of all of that, another sober day is coming to a close, I have read my sober bloggers posts, and it's going to be colder tonight that a witches tit in a brass brassiere. Let's all pledge to stay sober again tomorrow. It just won't get much better than that.

Tonight I am grateful for:

  1. God, My Higher Power
  2. My Sobriety
  3. Mamie, my OCD schnauzer
  4. My Sponsor
  5. Tomorrow is double dip day.
  6. Ten things I never knew about some of you.
  7. Sobriety Rocks.

Now y'all be pretty, ya heah.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Just Another Day...............

December 3 - I tell you this: I am performing a miracle right now. Meditations from Conversations with God, Book 1, page 69
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The miracle is that before I signed in to do my post is that I had decided to leave the HIGH DRAMA of the last few days alone. Of course that is not the only miracle that HE is performing. Somewhere, another drunk has had his/her moment of clarity and has decided to take action to end that miserable way of life. It happened to me, it has happened to many of you, and let us rejoice in the fact that the miracle just continues to add new trudgers to the road of happy destiny.
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Today I attended the second of four diabetic classes. I found it very informative and educational. Next week I have the nutritional portion of the series. But I know that if I were not spiritually fit, I would not be seeking to improve my health and take better care of myself. Such a gift. It just does not get much better than that.
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Tonight I am grateful for:
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God, My Higher Power
My Sobriety
Mamie, my OCD schnauzer.
My Sponsor.
The Promises continually coming true in my daily life.
All y'all.
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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

What the Hell Happened?

December 2 - Thankfulness is the most powerful statement to God; an affirmation that even before you ask, I have answered. Therefore, never supplicate, appreciate. Meditations from Conversations with God, Book 1, page 11
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I'm back! I am so confused over whatever in the hell happened at my sister's my head is still spinning. I saw my psych today and we talked for an hour over it. I can't write about it right now as I am still processing what happened. TGD went fairly well. Food was very good. Rosalie goes to bed at 6:30 or 7 PM. Sam did the same on TGD. Friday also. So Saturday afternoon I told Rosalie I was going into Beaumont to the Lambda AA meeting. She just went off. NO! I do not want you running around in Beaumont at night, you do not know the city and y0ou don't need AA anyway. You are not an alcoholic and never have been. You haven't had a drink in years. I was absolutely STUNNED. (I felt just like a child) Where in the hell did this Bitch Dragon come from and where was my Rosalie. I know she has never accepted the fact of my alcoholism but I thought we had gotten past that crap. The BD was there all weekend, it just came out in force on Saturday. I did not go to the meeting, but she did go to bed at 6:30 and Sam and I talked until 9 PM when he went to bed. Sunday we had breakfast and I left as originally planned. As I said I have a lot of processing to do. However, I am so proud of the way I handled this at the time.
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In my drinking days I would have cussed her out, left in a rage, and swore I never wanted to see her again and that would also have been said. Then after the cooling of the well scorched landscape had settled one of us would have called the other and then we'd be back to being ok with each other. Sometimes it took days, weeks, or years. I sort of wanted to lash back, but God just took over and did for me what I could not do for myself - kept me from losing control. I did not argue. I did not nor still don't know what to say, so I just said, OK and left it at that. I really need to get with my sponsor and really talk about this. I need to pray for God's guidance (which I have 24/7) I will come out the other side of this intact. Right now, I do not want to go over there for Christmas. I need a loooooooonnnng break. I do not want to hurt her, but I have to take care of me. God help's me with that.
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I am just so glad to be home. In my bed. In my house. With my thoughts, my music, my tv, my.......................! And I am so grateful for all of it. Just Mamie,Me, and My Higher Power, God. He helps me stay sober, he leads guides and directs me, and for that I am grateful. I have my blogger friends, and for that I am grateful.
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Tonight I am also grateful for:
  • God, my Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, My Schnauzer,
  • My Sponsor.
  • All y'all

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I'm just the pink flamingo on the Great Lawn of Life!

November 25 - When body, mind and soul create together, in harmony and in unity, God is made flesh. Then does the soul know itself in its own experience. Then do the heavens rejoice. Meditations from Conversations with God, Book 1, page 175
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Hi-ho y'all. Today was a great day. I was sober all day. Plus I did get up at 10:30 as planned. I did get to the 12:15 meeting. I don't know why I thought I could have lunch with the guys. The meeting is over at 1:15 and my dr. appointment was at 2 PM. I went straight to the DR. and had a grilled cheese at the shop in her building. Only $2.50, not great but it filled the bill at the moment.
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Surgery went well and I was home by 4:15. It is now 11::39 PM and my eye is much better. I can see with a lot of blur, but no spots. This will improve in the next couple of days. I go back on Dec 22 for more pictures to see how the "eyes have it".
Just could not resist that pun, it is so Daave.
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So, I've had a wonderful day, I think my eye is going to be much better, (think positive), I'm sober, I'm going to Rosalie's tomorrow to gobble some Fried Turkey with them, and Mamie and Bessie can run and play in the house, and in the field. I am blessed.
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Happy Thanksgiving to Y'all.
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Tonight I am grateful for:
  • God, My Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, my schnauzer
  • My Sponsor
  • Your Sobriety
  • God's in my corner, and all is right in the world.
  • All y'all

Now y'all be pretty now, ya heah.(scroll down)

PS. Rosalie does not have a working computer so I won't post again till I get back home Sunday. Buh-bye.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Jangled Nerves - Laser Surger - Trying to be in NOW

November 24 - There is nothing you can't have if you choose it. Even before you ask, I will have given it to you. Meditations from Conversations with God, Book 1, page 117
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Hi, my friendly bunch of alkies. Hope you all had a wonderful weekend.
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Yep, my nerves are just jangled, frayed, worked, etc. Tomorrow is another Laser surgery on my left eye. I've already had several so I know what to expect, mostly. What I've not experienced is the importance of this one. Since the last one I have not had clear vision from the left eye, it is sort of like looking through cobwebs with little blobs here and there. I can read but there are letters missing. But you have all seen the version of the letters being rearranged in some words and you don't really notice it because the eye recognizeds the word, not the letter order. Well, that comes to mind when I read. Today has been one of the best days as far as vision goes. Tomorrow at 2 PM is the scheduled time. So one more time I am praying for the steady hand of my doctor, and if as before, today's quote has already been applied to the outcome. Sort of a good omen that quote. Could not have been more timely. But then there are no accidents. I have to remember that. Hmmmmmmmmmmm.
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So my plan of attack for tomorrow is to be up by 10 AM, early for me, attend the 12:15 meeting at Lambda to get my day centered, have lunch with the guys, be at doctor's office at 2 PM. The eye will be doubled dilated - practically all pupil, and then buzzzet, busssit, etc. She plans to do about 2000 bssits tomorrow. This is not painful, just irritating. I have this 40,000 watt bulb shining in my eye, (well it seems that bright) fighting my impulse to shut my eye to escape the brightness, and trying my best to be comfortable in the schrunched down position in which I have to be. The doctor is a little short Jewish lady who is as sweet and calming as anyone I have ever met. But I am on this little stool that has lowered my butt about one inch from the floor. (WELL) So yes I am schrunched down. Not such a price to pay for the hoped for result. Then it will take two or three days for my vision to clear and be able to tell if the surgery is successful. I just know it will be. God has not been with me this far to let me down, but if it does not turn out the way that I WANT it to I have to accept was IS. Having been in the rooms and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous has given me the honor of witnessing other ALKIES go through trials and tribulations with grace whether or not the outcome is as desired. I know that my spiritual foundation is strong enough to take me through anything. Do I question this. Of course I do but the evidence has been before me too many times and throughout the course of my life, God has given me the strength to be a Survivor. How the hell else would I have gotten to where I am today. Just keeping the faith, in a grateful kind of way. There I go using a Pamism, but I can't think of anyone better to plagiarize than Pam.
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And on top of everything else, this is Thanksgiving week. I am going over to Silsbee, Tex to spend the holiday with my sister Rosalie and nephew Sam. That is always enjoyable. Sam fries two 14 lb turkeys and Rosalie makes about 4 side dishes to go with it. Sometimes I long for a good ole fashioned turkey and dressing and all the trimmings but it is not to be. So I will just be blessed with what is there and be thankful that I have been given another year with my dear Sister. I'm 67 and she is 76. Sam is 43. Actually she lives with Sam, so I should be saying I'm going to my nephews but its hard to change. However, my Mother lived with me for 18 years and I sure would set the record straight if some one said I lived with my Mother. It was my house - so she lived with me. But that is a whole other story. I don't think I have written about that, maybe so, it just does not come up on my current memory search. I'm in the Now. Looking forward to happy days this week and will just accept what comes down the pike for this week. I have learned this in AA and it just does not get much better than this.
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Tonight I am grateful for:
  • God, my Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, my schnauzer
  • My Sponsor (An avowed Atheist but we click)
  • Acceptance of people, places, and things.
  • Spiritual progress not spiritual perfection.
  • Those that email me their gratitude lists.
  • All y'all
  • 50th High School Reunion in the planning stages. (50?)

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Quiet

Wonderful, wonderful, day. Just so quiet. I just love to listen to the quiet. It always has a message. Today's was just a wisp of thankfulness. Thankful for living in a place that is quiet. Thankful for being able to enjoy the quiet. The quiet is invaded by the sounds of children in the street, but happy children so it's not really an invasion. They are just there. The quiet of today is wrapped in dark and angry looking clouds that just might give us a sprinkle or two. Or NOT.
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Today I feel good. Been under the weather for a couple of days. Woke up Thurdsday Morn at 4AM just soak and wet from sweat. Thank goodness for a King size bed, so I just got up, walked around to the other side, and went back to sleep Changed the sheets when I got up later in the day and thought well, I'm feeling better so it was just a thingy. So I went to the movie to see "Soul Men" which was Bernie Mack's last movie. I did not realize that it was also Isaac Hayes last movie. Got a good dose of the belly laughs. So it was enjoyable. I got to the movie about In the Woodlands about 3 PM and there were at least 100 girls with pillows, blankets, checkers, etc in lines on the floor waiting for the midnight opening of "TwiLight".The movie added two more auditoriums for the Midnight showing for a total of four showings. When I left at 6 PM there must have been a thousand girls and maybe two boys to see that movie. I never did do that kind of stuff. Well we did not have blockbusters when I was a kid. We had "The Durango Kid", Roy Rodgers, Gene Autrey, Hoppalong Cassidy, and those awful kissy movies. YUK. Tickets were 9 cents and popcorn was 5 cents and so were soda pops. Damned that was a long time ago. Come to think of it might near 60 years ago. Hell no wonder I don't feel so good sometimes. Anyway I got home and was just sweating up a good runoff so I just settled in, watched some TV, slefpt, went to bed, slept a lot more, got up about 3 pm. Stayed home all day Friday and Saturday. Feel so much better now. Just can't rush it like I used to back in the day. But I'm so thankful that I was only out of kelter for a couple of three days.
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So, now I'm just back to listening to music and the quiet of the day. Oh, and I might add, enjoying the musice in a quiet sober kind of day. See ya.
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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Friday, November 21, 2008

"Dying" to "Living"

November 21 - How can you think of wasting a moment doing something for a living you don't like to do" What kind of a living is that? That is not a living, that is a dying! Meditations from Conversations with God, Book 1, page 185
I don't know if any of you noticed that there were no periods between my paragraphs yesterday. I do not know why but I'm doing the same thing tonight that I did last night, so there will either be a skipped line between paragraphs or NOT.
I did a lot of dying during my drinking years. I always said I do not like what I did last night, I am not drinking tonight. That was early, early morning as I went to work in much pain and agony. By 10, I was beginning to feel as though the human being in me might break through. Comfort food at lunch helped it reappear. By 2 I was rethinking my morning commitment to myself. By 3 it was "well maybe just one," by 4 I was on the phone talking to my buddies who were as adamant as I was in the early AM and we were talking about meeting as usual for drink or two and leaving the bar no later than 10 PM. By the time we got together at 9 or 9:30 we had all had a few (conservative for several) drinks at home to ensure that we would only have one or two and then head home. Never mind the fact that that never worked, it just did not cross our mind that failure to do anything but that was just not in our way of life. (Disease was not on our horizon then) Of course, we closed the bar, and at least two or three times during the week, the bar owner invited us to stay for an after hours drinky poo. Sounds like a good idea.
And so many times that meant falling out the door of the bar at sunup and getting on the motorcycle and riding home. AND then the phone call to advise my boss (as Pam Says) I am afraid I to come in. Actually I was afraid to go in, Hell if I showed up at IBM as drunk as I was, I'd be canned for sure. So I called in with an excuse that would have wiped out the Hordes of Genghis Khan.Sometimes those excuses were so bad that I knew I could not go in the next day or so, cause no one ever recovered from that disease du jour so quickly.
So yes, I practiced "a dying" while drinking. Part of that dying was my college education. Dead by failure to participate. Promotions were also part of that dying, dying by failure to participate. IF ONLY I had put as much effort into developing my career and preparing for it I could have done so much better than I did. Why after I got sober, I did become a Director of Human Resources, I did get those great bonuses and those raises. A promotion - no, but my years of experience at IBM I somehow managed to retain and got the job because I could answer the right questions during the interview that got me hired to a job that at which I made my living.
My dying was replaced by my living sober. Things only got better and better. Oh I did have to pay the piper for the wreckage of my presence during my drinking days, but I have moved on from days. Today I don't have to use the IF ONLY expression anymore. It does not apply. What happened to me was not an accident, My Higher Power, GOD, sent me many lifelines which I grabbed but never held onto. When my moment of clarity came I was so ready, I was so beaten, and I so surrendered that I dove in and did a hell of lot of work. I knew that the behavior of the past 32 years was dead. I knew that One Day At A Time I would put time plus new experience strength and hope between me and those days of "dying" and I would live a life that I could never have imagined or experienced if I had not grabbed that last lifeline. Last lifeline, yes, there may have been others, but I grabbed onto that one and I am not going to let it go. I know it will not get any better than that.
Tonight I am grateful for:
  • God, my Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, my schnauzer
  • My Sponsor (we talked today)
  • Growth (not to be confused with girth)
  • Alcoholics Anonymous
  • Y'all

Now you be pretty now, ya heah.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

GROANERS - HUMOR

November 20 - A true teacher is not the one with the most knowledge, but one who causes the most others to have knowledge.
Meditations from Conversations with God, Book 1 page 115
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Hey y'all, I just added another day to my sobriety. How about you?
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Just feeling a little whimsical today so below is a list of Groaners that I know DAAVE will be jazzed by. Hopefully you will enjoy them also.
  • The roundest knight at King Aurhur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
  • I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleution.
  • She was only a whiskey maker, but he lover her still.
  • A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
  • The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
  • No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
  • A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
  • A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
  • Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

On page 132 of the Big Book, sixteen lines down and sixteen lines up is this phrase " We absolutely insist on enjoying life." One of my faves.

"We are not a glum lot"

So we think cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness, Outsiders are sometimes shocked when we burst into merriment over a seemingly tragic experience out of the past. But why shouldn't we laugh" We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others.

Today I am grateful for:

  • God My Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, my schnauzer
  • My Sponsor
  • Movies
  • A very good sense of humor. I have a lot of laugh lines and yes somethings are that funny.
  • You

Now y'all be pretty now, ya heah.