Monday, December 8, 2008

Ten things you don't know about me.

Page 68 - 69 Now about sex. Many of us needed an overhauling there. But above all, we tried to sensible on this question. It's so easy to get way off the track. Here we find human opinions running to extremes--absurd extremes, perhaps..............Then we have the voices who cry for sex and more sex: who bewail the institution of marriage: who think that most of the troubles of the race are traceable to sex causes...........We want to stay out of this controversy. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS.
The above quote could have been ripped from the headlines of today's newspapers, plucked from the internet news, or heard and seen on radio or television. It just amazes me that this came from the writers of the BIG BOOK and published for the first time 1939. Now that in itself is a miracle. And it is just one of many that are outlined in the first 164 pages of Alcoholics Anonymous.
No, this is not going to be a soapbox posting. It is just what came to mind when I started to put together the :10 Things List, that Findon, bless his bloody little heart, tagged me to do last Thursday. So here goes.
Ten Things You Don't Know About Me.
  1. My manipulation and lying started whey I pooped in the living room at the age of 3 and then rolled it under the rug. Totally denied any knowledge of the bulge under the rug.
  2. At age 7, a girl - Cora Lee - asked me to "fuck her" so we could have a baby when we grew up. Naturally this seemed exciting so I asked her what we had to do. She repeated the question and I asked how did we do that. She explained and showed me where to put my huh huh into her unh unh. I was terrified and told her NO, what if I got stuck.That night at dinner I told my Mother and Stepdad that Cora Lee asked me to Fuck her. and they both damned near choked on their dinner. My Mother teased me about that until she died.
  3. Cora Lee was the closest thing to sex with a female that I ever experienced.
  4. My half-brother from my Dad, two of his brothers were also gay. I learned about my brother from my Sister Myrna and about my uncles from my stepmother. Mother Lela's sister Audie was a lesbian and bought a house and lived together with her girlfriend for over 50 years. Mother told me about this.
  5. I thought there was hope for me when Christine Jorgenson had her sex change operation in Sweden in 1952. I thought well, I could do that but I sure would have to sneak over there.
  6. At 12 I read about gays in Male Magazine and knew that was what I was and the thoughts of the sex change disappeared.
  7. In my sophomore year in high school I dated two girls for show and dated 4 boys for sex.
  8. I had a 9 year affair with a man I worked with at Harris County Criminal Courts Building. He had stood me up for lunch one day and at the end of the day, the elevator stopped, the door opened and he was standing right there in front, I kicked him at hard as I could and went back into the library where I worked. I found out at the end of the 9 year affair that he was married. Man I was naive.
  9. I tried suicide twice: 1963 over a "broken romance" with gas. My roommates found me. 1974 with a quart of scotch and 37 Valium. Slept for two days.
  10. I came out as gay socially when I was 19 in 1960 here in Houston, Texas. There was no tolerance for gays or lesbians in the workplace. That has changed in most states today, but in the state of Texas it is still legal to fire someone just because they are gay. I was fortunate to work for IBM from 1966 to 1992 - sexual orientation was never a concern at IBM. I have been grateful for that for my working career.

So, I am not going to tag anyone else. I do not think I have ever done that before. However this is not to be construed as a pledge to never tag anyone. Only the Shadow knows................

Tonight I am grateful for.

  • God my Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, my OCD schnauzer
  • My Sponsor (Helps me so much when I do talk to him)
  • Finally getting to not feeling as if I am intruding when I talk to a sponsor. That's been a big problem for me.
  • All y'all

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.


Findon said...

Thank you Zane. Its a pleasure and a privelege to know you. I hope I am forgiven. That bump under the carpet... priceless.

big Jenn said...

Thank you for being yourself and personal with this list. It's good to know you better. I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you to come out in 1960 in Texas! Holy Shit, you're a brave man!I think it takes courage to be who we are.You don't sound like a pretender. jeNN

Scott W said...

You got closer with Cora Lee than I ever did with a girl, although I married Diane Rogers in the first grade.

You had a broken romance with gas?

You have some great names in your family.

Pam said...

OMG are you saying that you are gay?
I always love your stories.

dAAve said...

What color was that rug?

J-Online said...

Wow. Learned a lot about you here Zane. Thanks for the post and your honesty. Love it. Hugs, jen

Syd said...

I also liked the broken romance over gas. I think that happened to me once or twice too.

I enjoyed the list. Cora Lee must have been really advanced for her age.

steveroni said...

What color was the carpet? Well, I know what color was ONE side of it!

Gosh, I sure didn't know you were gay, Zane. I thought you like Men! -grin

Guess your song is coming up soon, one line of which is..."don we now our gay apparel. Fa-la-la-, Fa-la-la, La-la-la,"

As y'all know, I'm a straight guy, believe in marraige--really--been married legally four times, and some others, yessss, some others (sigh!)

Zanejabbers said...

I sent out Christmas cards on year that had an watercolor of an overly made up chubby woman and the verse was "Now we don our gay apparel - Mother's Hat, Mother's purse, Mother's shoes"