Friday, December 12, 2008

Just trudging along

Bless every person and condition, and give thanks. Thus you affirm the perfection of God's creation--and show your faith in it. Meditations from "Conversations with God, Book One" page 46
The power of faith really came through this meditation for me this night. As I was signing in, I was just going to share about not much going on, no special day, just a nothing day. Then I read this meditation just before I started typing. Then a flood of what had transpired during this very short day - I slept until 1:53 or so - and then went to the movie, Twilight. The photography of this movie was beautiful. Story line was ok, but I am still awed by the beauty of that part of the country. It was supposed to be Washington State and I believe it was.
Then I had a recollection of the road trip I took in July of 2002 to see my sister Myrna in Seattle. I took the coast highway from San Francisco to Tacoma. It a very gorgeous and peaceful drive. I took a lot of pictures, but they just did not do the scenery justice. I spent the night in a quaint little town on the Washington/Oregon Border, the name escapes me at the moment, but I remember the name of the town is what made me make that my destination for the first day of the trek from San Francisco to Seattle. The next day I continued my trip to Seattle, arriving there about 7 PM, just in time for Myrna's dinner of roast beef, potatoes, onions, and carrots.
Myrna is my half-sister from my Father. We had only met in April 1983 at our father's funeral. I had always knows about her, but she never knew I existed. Her Mother was Dad's first wife, my Mother was his second and then he went on to have eight more wives. Yep ten wives. Myrna and Frank and their sons came to visit Vic and I in our home in Los Angeles in 1985. We had a great visit and she had been begging me to please come to Seattle. Those were in my drinking days and I remember her telling me that I was definitely a the way I drank. Anyway by the time I made it to Seattle, I was 11.5 years sober. Myrna and Frank and I had a great time together. We went all over Seattle, took the ferry over to Victoria in Vancouver and the next day we had lunch in the restaurant at the top of the space needle. They were so gracious as hosts, would not let me pay for anything. I was visiting and they were hosts and that was just the way it was.
During this visit I also visited some friends over in Port Angeles - an Island across the Sound from Seattle. Myrna took me over to the gay section of Seattle and showed me the route of Seattle's Gay Pride Parade. We had never discussed my being Gay, but then we did not need to. It seems her brother Patrick, my half-brother, was also gay. He was killed in 1961 in an auto accident.
I also attended a couple of AA meetings at the Gay AA club in Seattle. This was in the second week of July and not too long after the Gay Pride Festival there. There were about 20 or so attendees. When they asked for new or people with less than 30 days, I remember more than half of the meeting stood up. During the discussion and shares I learned that over half of the members of this AA club had gone to the Dance on Saturday and just got shit faced. They came back en masse to the Sunday meeting. That really troubled me as I always heard about the we of the program. If going to a slippery place to go with other AAers. They did this, but they all went out. So even though this is a we program, this taught me that each of us is responsible for our own actions. Each of us is responsible for our own sobriety. Did this cause me to abandon the "WE" of the program. Absolutely not. Just because of this isolated incident, it did not shake my faith in Alcoholics Anonymous. But it did strengthen my responsibility to myself. I am very grateful for that experience, I am very grateful for Alcoholics Anonymous, and I am very grateful that I am Sober today. It just not get much better than that.
Y'all be pretty now, ya heah!


Findon said...

Perfect. All went to a dance and All got drunk. It truly is my own responsibility. Thanks for reminding me. The road trip sounds great, made me want to do it. Have a great day Zane.

dAAve said...

We missed you today.
But given time, our aim will be better.


Reminds me of sheep following the leader right off the cliff.

I always share that when I was new to the program I did, as best I could, what my sponsor told me. I also worked the steps, went to meetings, and spent time with other women alcoholics who were not only sober, but also working their program, getting better, and improving the quality of their sobriety. (I still do this.)

Scott W said...

Dang, that is some story.

Anonymous said...

Great post. Thanks for sharing this Zane.

Todd HellsKitchen said...

Have a great weekend, Zane!