Saturday, July 26, 2008

Saturday, June 26, 2008

Hi Y'all. Several years ago there was a daily cartoon called the Perfect Squelch. I enjoyed this item when I grew old enough to understand it. And the following is an example.
An older gentleman had another appointment to see his urologist, who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was that large, unfriendly, Sumo'type wrestler woman with whom he'd had several disagreements in the pas. He politely gave her his name.
In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HER. YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCY, RIGHT.?"
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their head around to look at the very embarrassed man. He quickly recovered and in and equally loud voice replied, "NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION--BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT PERFORMED YOURS."
This joke also reminds me about a motorcycle run I went on in about 1994. This run was hosted by the Constantine's of San Francisco. Friday night there was always a show and it was called guest night on the run. A friend of mine and I had put together a little number in which we were going to be belly dancers to the tune of "Money, Money" from Cabaret. Well earlier that morning my friend and his partner had a snit and my friend left. But graciously left me the two costumes. So I knew this other guy that was fairly large like me and I approached him right after lunch to do the number with me. He agreed to do so.
So later that afternoon he and I got together to try to put our "ACT" together. It just was not working. So we decided to do it to our best knowing there was no way we could win. After the cocktail hour, he came running over to me and said I've got it. We'll be belly dancer sumo wrestlers. It was a hysterical thought. So we got together and practiced for about an hour and got it together. After a wonderful dinner and a few more cocktails it was showtime.
We were number 4 out of nine acts. Our turn came and we were introduced as "Recent Graduates from Miss Jelly Bellies School of Belly Dancing and Sumo-Wrestling." And we hit the stage: first doing a belly dance and then came to opposite sides of the stage! We faced off, dug into our stance, and came at each other as in charging Sumo Wrestlers. As we got face to face, we shook all over, did a complete about face and went right back into our bellie dance. We brought the wooods down. We won first prize that night. We were nominated following February for the Motorcycling Academy Awards "Best in Amateur Night." This was for the winners from about 15 other clubs amateur night. There were five nominees. And we won. What fun.
Oh, and I forgot to mention. I did this in sobriety. Remember, we insist on having fun.
Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.


Scott W said...



I can see you doing that.

For sure.

Trailboss said...

Funny story Zane. I saw Merna Turner once in Nashville. She had a huge afro and long black fingernails. Sound familiar So?