Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Another Good, Gorgeous, and Sober Day!

What you fear most is what will most plague you.  Fear will draw it to you like a magnet.  November 4 - Meditations from "Conversations with God - Book 1" page 56

Hey y'all, how the hell are ya?  Today was another gorgeous day here in Spring, Texas.  I had another aquatic therapy session and an anxiety attack towards the end.  There were two of us in the pool today, each with out own therapist.  The other patient's therapist was loud and had a voice that reminded me of nails on a chalkboard.  Put that in a tile walled room and the echo effect, it might neer drove me over the edge.  And it did, All of a sudden I was just pounding on the the cement bench in the pool, I did not realize I was doing this.  My therapist came over and gently asked me if I was ok.  That's when I realized what I was doing.  I sat there for a few minutes, and calm came back.  Man am I ever glad I was not shaving.  But then the incident probably would not have happened.  Whatever!  It was over as soon as it started and I am ok tonight.  I see my shrink tomorrow, so we will have something to talk about.  I'm reminded of the promises when something like this happens.  Aren't they wonderful.If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.  We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.  We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.  We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.   No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.  That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.   We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.  Self-seeking will slip away.  Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.  Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.  We will intuitively know how handle situations which used to baffle us.  We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises?  We think not.  They are being fulfilled among us--sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.  They will always materialized if we work for them.

And I am so grateful to see these promises coming true on a daily basis.  Tonight I am also grateful for:
  • God, My Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, my schnauzer
  • My sponsor.
  • Tomorrow's appointment with my psychiatrist
  • Tomorrow's appointment with my neurologist to go over my AT progress.
  • Beginning to feel progress in my mobility
  • Adjusting to light-headiness when standing up.
  • Being on the top side of the grass.
  • Friends
  • Funny emails.
  • All y'all
Y'all be pretty now, ya heah!


dAAve said...

yo, dude.

Steve E. said...

Thanks, Zane--you ARE a friend. We must all be still--and know that HE is God, not US.

Peace and Love,

Syd said...

I'm glad that you are okay. Never had an anxiety attack although there has been plenty to be anxious about. Take care of yourself Zane.