Sunday Night, August 31, 2008

Goodbye dear ole August. You were one miserably hot month. But that's ok, you were another Sober Month for me and a lot of other Alkies out there in the blogdom.

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Totally enjoying my sister and nephew being here this weekend. Today I fixed a potato salad, corn on the cob and we grill two hens. My friend Joe came out and we all stuffed ourselves. UMMM MMMM Good.

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Saw a cut little item in the Chronicle today about someone being a serial rehab person. That made me think of slippers thinking I'm not an alcoholic, I'm only a serial drunk. Well let me tell you, this Alcoholic took 32 years to admit to another person that he was an Alcoholic. And I am glad that this is a program of Honesty and that is how I practice it on a daily basis. Maybe the fact that I live by the Mantra: You Don't Drink No Matter What is what has kept me active in my recovery since day 1. I thank God I am not a "serial rehabber."

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Y'all be pretty NOW, ya heah.

Sunday , August 31, 2008

You are not discovering yourself, but creating yourself anew. Seek, therefore, not to find out who you are, seek to determine who you want to be. Meditations from Conversations With God, Book 1.

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Hi, y'all. Well, hell, here comes Gustav, at 2 AM EDT, it had become a Cat 5 hurricane. The AUTHORItiES have ordered mandatory evacuations from New Orleans to High Island, Texas. The three Texas counties evacuation will begin at 6 AM. If you want to go West, you have to leave before 4 AM. After that only the North routes will be open. My Sister and her son Sam, live in Silsbee which is in Hardin County and they are one of the three counties that are under this order. They left Silsbee at 5 PM and made the 126 mile jaunt to Houston in only 6 hours. They pulled into my driveway at 11:05 PM. There will be no shelters in the evacuation areas. I really think this is overkill, but I'm glad they are here with me. Their business is in downtown Beaumont and they took out all the computer equipment and the computerized diagnostic machinery and locked it up in Silsbee. Beaumont is predicted to get a 20 foot storm surge. Yeah, same as in Rita, and the storm surge never happened, but the wind and tornadoes did a tremendous amount of damage. We were sitting in my living room talking just a few minutes ago and it has been almost three years ago that we fled from Rita. I told them we had to quit meeting like this. ROTFLMAO.

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I did make the birthday meeting at Lambda last night. 32 celebrants with 399 years of sobriety. However, I only stayed for 1 and 2 years and then headed home expecting to see my family had arrived. But I did get to say the Serenity Prayer, heard ESH from some celebrants, and that centered me. There were a lot of 20 plus years and at least 2/3 were double digits. One gentleman took a 2 year chip, his date was 08-06-06. He did make it through that, but on a recent business trip, his trick talked him into crack so he also asked for Desire Chip. He said his sponsor told him he was entitled to his 2 year chip, but he needed to tell he had slipped since. He than broke down and cried. It was a powerful message to all of us. This disease is cunning, baffling, and powerful and you never know how or when it will raise it's ugly head. I think those of us in attendance will always remember the moment he shared. Thank God, he made it right back. I pray I never have to experience that. I think I have a strong program, a strong desire to never drink again, and I live by the statement you don't drink no matter what. I am also very thankful I never got into drugs. Lord knows I was bad enough at drinking. So I will continue to trudge the road of Happy Destiny and hope to see all of you along the way as we journey together. God Bless.

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Y'all be pretty Now, ya heah.

Friday Night, August 29, 2008

Are you willing to endorse the ridicule of your fellow human beings? Are you prepared to give up glory on Earth for the greater story of the soul fully realized? Meditations from Conversations with God, Book 1, page 145

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OMG. Gustav. Here we go again. I hope not, but if it happens, and it could, I pray for the strength to get through it. I pray for all the people that are in it's path. National Hurricane Center just released an update stating it will probably be a Cat 4. When I left my neighborhood at 8:45 AM, gas prices were 3.31 a gallon. When I returned about 3 PM those same stations had raised their prices to 3.49. This is what drives me crazy. I have no control over it and I have to let it go. I have to let it go. I have to let it go. Did I say I have to let it go. Ok. It is now tattered, scratched to death, mortally wounded, and I am letting it go. HA HA HO HO HA HA HO HEE, they are coming to take me away, they are.

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Sarah Pallin's hair looks like she just got a Beaumont Do. (Only A Texan or someone who lives here knows what I mean) Not a political statement, just saying.

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I did a 10 Am meeting today, and then the 12:15 Lambda meeting. The topic at both was the 10th step. The 12:15 chair played a Joe and Charlie 8 minute tape and then the meeting was ON. They were both good meetings. One of the 12:15 attendees with a little over a year sobriety, chose to share on Obama's speech last night and stated that we must talk about that more. I just thought to myself how inappropriate for an AA meeting and I was just sure someone was going to comment. Not a peep. I was rather pleased that a scene did not ensue,(cross talking). But I did notice some of the guys talking to him after the meeting.

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Mamie was just having a fit at something outside the dining room window. I just checked and there were three rather large frogs there. She just wants to get out and chase them. Bless her heart, you know schnauzers are natural "ratters". And not only that but Mamie is a bit OCD with her window watching. She sits in the DR window and then comes to the breakfast room and looks out in the backyard. She just goes nuts when when she sees a squirrel or a cat. I let her out when there is a squirrel in the backyard and she is a silver streak going at 'em. And they just sit on the fence and sort of taunt her. Now she is a miniature, about 12 inches tall at most, but she can propel herself about 4 - 5 feet in the air. Just one jump and those squirrels are gone. Zap and Zip around the top of the fence and then back and of course Mamie is right behind them. I can just hear her....OH Goody Goody, I'm gonna have the best lunch ever. And this can go on for almost ever. But if I tell her in the house, she looks at me with those sad brown eyes as if to say, But Daddy........... I say house and here she comes. She is so good. God was good to me when he sent her to me via Schnauzer Rescue Of Houston. It was a definite God Shot.

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Have a great and Sober weekend. I sure as hell will.

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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Thursday Night, August 28, 2008

Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny. May God bless you and keep you--until then. Page 164 Alcoholics Anonymous.

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In 1975 I bought my first motorcycle, a 1975 Honda 750 full dress. Full dress meant windshield and bags. I had it lowered. It was blue and black and was a beauty. I took a course from the Los Angeles Police Dept. on motorcycle riding and safety. It was a class spread over 4 Saturdays and I loved it. I got my license and hit the road. I joined a gay motorcycle, the Warriors Motorcycle Club of Los Angeles. The LAPD has us listed as an outlaw group. Yeah, right. I love riding. It was such a free feeling. Just me, my bike in the world, in the wind, in the rain, even snow. My club had a rule that you did not ride in club colors unless you wore a helmet. I bought a half-helmet which was the official helmet of the LAPD.

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When I first started riding, I did not get drunk and ride. I drank, but very responsibly. At that time, I only rode if I had had less than 6 drinks. That did not last very long. My very favorite times on my bike were when I had it loaded down with tent, camping gear, etc. and heading for the mountains, the desert, or the seashore for a weekend of revelry. We called the bike runs. A run was either a one day run or a weekend run. One days were local - usually did not exceed 250 miles round trip. An overnighter was a camp out starting Friday, and winding down by noon on Sunday. The best were the three or four day runs. Campsite, food, and as much booze as you could drink for the length of the run. These runs had anywhere from 30 to 400 participants.

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I immediately got into the competition and won many trophies. After the first 6 months I always won a 1st, 2nd, or 3rd. place trophy. I even won a second place trophy on one of the four day runs. By that time I was riding a Suzuki 1100cc low rider. Competition was broken down by motorcycle cc. Lightweight was 250cc to 699cc, middleweight was 750CC to 1099cc; heavyweight was 1100cc to 1400cc. Drive shaft was in its own class. Then there was also a Buddy Class which was the passenger. There would be a specific course with a purpose: pick up put down, maneuvering, slow race, and always at least 3 or 5 events. I excelled in the maneuvering events. I was hard to beat in those events. I loved it. I still have a lot of the trophies I won. Some were Silver, Brass, Crystal, or Blown Glass.

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I never had an accident - that is I never got hit by a car. Close, but NOT. However, I did drop my bike a few times. That's when you lose balance and just fall over. When I was just totally shitfaced, I took the backstreets home. There were many times when I just forgot to put my feet down while at a stop sign, and BLAP over I went. Crash, crack. Oh, hell there went another windshield or turn signal. I always got the bike fixed within a couple of days after one of those "happening". I mean you just did not ride a wounded bike. It got to be very expensive. Then the times started to be more frequent, and the bartenders, or owner would take my keys away from me, lock the bike in the bar overnight, and send me home in a cab. I know that wearing a helmet saved my life or saved me from severe head injuries many times.

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Most of this occurred during 1975 - 1981. I had bought a new 1973 BUICK Centurion. I had that car 10 years and only put 55,000 miles on it. I traded it in on a 1983 New Yorker. During the last 8 years of that time frame I put over 165,000 miles on three motorcycles. So I did ride. I got sober in January 1992 and kept riding and going to runs. There were Meetings on the runs. I knew about Friends of Bill meetings on these runs, but thought they were this snooty group whose sort of leader was named Bill. Anyway, I sold the bike in April of 1993, but kept going to the runs in my car and participating in events on borrowed bikes.

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I finally came to the point that I no longer enjoyed these runs in 1998. I had stopped going every w/e in 1992. I did not feel that my sobriety was threatened it was just that these weekends no longer appealed to me. I was growing up in my sobriety. But I will say this for those bikers, they supported me fully in my sobriety, they were very protective of what I ordered. Evidently had gotten so bad, they were relieved. I have not had to do that since I got sober. God had put the right people in my life at the beginning of my sobriety, and those people both drinkers and mostly sober ones. kept me on the road to happy destiny. It just does not get much better than that. God's been good.

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Tonight I am grateful for:

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God My Higher Power.

My Sobriety - it comes first.

Mamie my schnauzer.

My sponsor.

Memories.

Friends.

Support in the early days of my sobriety.

Gratitude lists of others.

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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Wednesday Night, August 27, 2008

There is only one reason to do anything: as a statement to the universe of Who You Are. Meditations from Conversations With God, Book One, page 36

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Hi y'all. How the hell was your day. Mine was pretty good. It was another sober day, those are the best. I thank God and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous for the gift of Sobriety.

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I saw a movie today. Not the best movie I ever saw, but a funny one that got better during the last 20 minutes. It was Hamlet 2. It was a movie with the premise that a failed actor was teaching a drama class in Tuscon Az. He had 7 years of sobriety. In the previews there was a song, Rock Me Sexy Jesus that I found offensive. But then I had a cat over Jesus Christ Superstar - until I saw it and then I realized the message was biblical. Hmmmmmmm, contempt before investigation. Now where have I heard that before. Anyway, in complete context of the movie, it was not offensive. Now I am sure I have set myself up for a visit from the DFDU. TUFF. If my remarks have offended any of you, I did not intend to do so, as Pam would say, just saying.

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Yep, back to the damned Dots.

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On my way home from the movie I decided to go by PetSmart at 1960 and 45 and get a couple of boxes of Frontline Flea treatment. I was about a car length from the car in front of me and this woman on a Harley pulled in front of me. Fine there was room. Then another woman on a Harley pulled in to the left of her and they started chatting. I just assumed they knew each other. Then the first woman with long blonde hair sticking out from her helmet, turned her head to the other and there was a very neatly trimmed mustache over her lip. Well, I certainly was wrong. He was small of stature and the long blond hair - I just saw a women. The light turned and they turned left and I was right behind them. As we were coming out from under the freeway they both sped up, the woman (the real one) was leading and then BAM one of the bikes was in the air, bounced against the curb on the left and end over end and there was blood squirting, and the the helmet was airborne. I thought OH MY GOD, his head came off. A car had pulled into the guy from the 45 feeder and just knocked the hell out of him. I mean they were right in front of me, about a car maybe 2 lengths ahead. I pulled into the Texas Roadhouse Parking lot and ran over. Many cars had stopped and people came to the rescue. Thank God, the airborne helmet was empty. The squirt was from the guys arm. Someone got a rubber out of their wallet and tied a tourniquet at the top of the arm. That was quick thinking. The biker was laying there obviously in pain and trying to get up to turn his bikes engine off so the spilling gas did not explode, but another stranger did so. Man that all happened so damned quick. The woman that hit him was walking in circles screaming, saying nothing, just screaming. The cops and an ambulance were there in about 5 minutes. The cops talked to the woman, the biker, the gal biker, me, and a couple of other people. Basically, we all told the same story. I was ready to give the second cop my name and all and he said it was not necessary, all of our stories were basically the same. SO I went across the street and continued with my business. But I cannot shake what I saw happen in just a split second. It just proves, that how you interpret what your eyes see, are not necessarily true. It just goes to show GOD IS IN CHARGE. I am so glad to be sober in a world with God. It just does not get any better than that.

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TODAY I AM THANKFUL AND GRATEFUL FOR:

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God, my Higher Power.

My Sobriety.

Mamie, my schnauzer.

My Sobriety.

The biker was not killed.

The woman stopped screaming and I pray for her to have a very good support system.

Seeing strangers with nothing in common, coming to the aid of a biker.

Today's GOD SHOT.

I now know another SAFE use for a rubber.(I haven't carried one since I was 16)

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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Tuesday Night, August 26, 2008.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for being with us and keeping us safe during the night. Please lead, guide and direct me as I go through this day. Help me to stay sober one more day. Thank you for my many blessings, thank you for blessing me with Mamie, and please bless little Mamie. Please bless my friends, family, and loved ones with Health, Happiness, Prosperity, Serenity, and Spirituality. And let THY will, not mine, be done. In Jesus name I pray, Amen. My daily morning prayer, Zane Mc.

Wow. Sometimes I really think I am losing my mind. Last night I did my blog rounds and left my imprint on all blogs visited. I just love the variety of messages with the common denominator. SOBRIETY. Then tonight I signed in to see who had visited my blog from last night. NOT A SOUL. But then there is a very good reason, evidently forgot to post. Now that is frightening. I hope I never go to the bathroom and forget to open my or drop my pants. Now that would be ..........AWFUL.

Yesterday was a great day. I did a meeting at Lambda, lunch with the guys and then did some errands with Daave and Ricardo (Miss Lambda 2008) It was a very positive day and I enjoyed it very much.

Today was shrink day. I told him how I have been feeling and wondered if I needed to tweek my meds. We talked awhile, he asked me some questions and he said, yes, I should knock my Prozac up a notch. After I MEDICALLY retired, it was necessary for me to go to 80 mg Prozac per day, and 30 mg Buspar per day. I know that combo saved my life, but I did resist going that high. And then Last July (s007) I cut the meds to 40 and 15. After 30 days I was ok. So I then talked it over with Dr. Wood and he said ok after some questions and said we would monitor it. This had been the story since 1991. Up, down, disc, etc. I know I will probably need these for the rest of my life, and I'm ok with that. The alternative is not pretty. At about three years into my sobriety, I went to the LAAA Gay convention. The main speaker was a lady with 35 years of sobriety. I really like what she had to say. Then about half way through she went of this thing about anti-depressant and that if you are on them, you are not sober. No one is sober if taking drugs regardless if they are prescription and you follow the doctor's orders. Change Doctors.

So I was quite struck by what she said, and my sobriety was very important to me. So quit my anti-depressants. It was not pretty. I just went into a downhill spiral. I just did not want to live. I was just plain nuts. However, I did not change Doctors. They had brought me through HELL and I just could not do that. That was a God shot. My therapist and my psychiatrist were stumped as to what was going on. I was at the point of another hospitalization and that freaked me out. So I let them know what I had done. Now both of these men worked very closely with Alcoholics and knew the big book. They told me I had better reread the first 164 pages of the Big Book. They told me nowhere in it would I find anything about not taking prescription drugs. They were very right. So back on the drugs I went and within about three weeks I was almost back to normal

These days, I don't hear so much about not taking meds under a doctor's care. The Big Book does tell us that some of us need outside help and we should seek it.

I have done this, and no one will ever say anything about me not taking my meds unless they are a trained and educated doctor. And if any of you have a problem with that, which I don't think you will from what I have read, you can just go to "the hot place". That is how one of my niece's would tell her Daddy not to tell people to go to hell. That was cursing and you could say go to the hot place and get the same point across.

Anyway, now I just have to worry about forgetting to take an action which I did last night. That is not a usual manner of action for me. I talked to my Dr. about it today, and he said that I just got track. Well, I am going to do my best to do that. Whatever I do, I will do SOBER. And it just don't get much better than that.

Tonight I am grateful for:

God, my Higher Power.

My Sobriety.

Mamie, my schnauzer.

My Sponsor.

Time with friends.

Having the sense to seek help.

Accepting God Shots.

Friends.

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

SUNDAY NIGHT, August 24, 2008

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE, COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THING I CAN...AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. NOW IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT QUOTE CAME FROM I SUGGEST YOU READ THE FRIGGING BIG BOOK ALSO KNOWN AS ALCOHOLIC ANONYMOUS.

Hi Y'all. Well if you signed into my blog the regular way, you noticed a vast change in my blog. I don'[t know what in the hell happened. I am so frustrated. I have left notes on HELP, Blog Group Help did not help..........F it.

Other than that, it has been an uneventful day. Last night I went to the 20th birthday party of Lisa Mac. Had a very nice time, saw some people i have not seen in quite sometime, especially Diane M. She and I chatted for some time. We both ate some most delicious cake, Scott W. told me what iit was, but I forgot. It was damned good. I wanted to eat the whole damned thing. But that's another program. Then I made my rounds, chatting here and there, and then settled down with Pat P. and just had a good ole time. Daave and I left about 9:30 and I dropped him off at his NEW TOWNHOME (gorgeous) aand hit the road for home.

Watched tv until about 3:30. and then went to sleep. I woke up at noon in a lot of physical pain. Damned ole arthritis and the rheumatiz just whacked me a good one over night. So I decided to stay home. I called my friend Joe and told him I was just going to stay home today. We usually get together on Sundays but he understood and said he hurt like hell today. It's just one of the Fing PERKS of aging. SHIT. They say the alternitive is looking up at the roots of what's growing on top. Sometimes I think that sure sounds like that's the ticket. I lkie both green and brown so it's a tossup. LOL.

Tomorrow I promised DAAve that I would meet him at the noon meeting at Lambda so I have to set my alarm so I can get up at the middle of the morn at 10:30 AM, (unglodly hour), freshen up, splash some o'de'toilet'water on and head out. I really need a meeting. I have not been to one since last Saturday night. I sort of count last night, but it was not a meeting as such. And since I believe you don't drink no matter WHAT, I better drag this big ole ass to a meeting.

Today I am grateful for:

God, My Higher Power

My Sobriety

Mamie, my schnauzer.

My sponsor.

Those that went before me on a continual basis one day at a time.

Lisa Mac's 20th Birthday

Friends

Comments if you can find my blog.

You.

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Today.

This is a test.

This is also a test.

This is a test again.

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Saturday August 23, 2008

Hi, Y'all. Early Morning TV Or LATE LATE NIGHT TV MSNBC announced that Obama's running mate is Joe Biden. One down, One to go. That's all I'm gonna say on politics.

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Today I am grateful for:

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God, My Higher Power

My Sobriety

Mamie, my schnauzer.

My Sponsor

Comments.

My friends in Jacksonville Fla have not been flooded.

Tonight I get to celebrate a friends 20th sober birthday.

Those that cleared the path for me.

Keeping the path with fellow trudgers for those that come behind.

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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

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Friday, August 22, 2008

There is a difference between being and doing, and most people have placed their emphasis on the latter. Meditations from Conversations with God, Book 1, page 196

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Hi, y'all. I'm too damned sensitive for my own good. I have to work on that and have been for 67 years. It comes, it goes. Just like bloggers. Oh, well, tomorrow is another day as Scarlet O'Hara would say. Today, Sobriety is the only constant in my life. I guess, that's good. Damned good. Because a whole lot of other things come with sobriety. It just don't get much better than that.

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Today I am grateful for:

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God My Higher Power

My Sobriety

Mamie, My Schnauzer

My Sponsor.

Comments.

Friends.

Nothing, absolutely nothing will make me ever drink alcohol again.

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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Every heart has it's secret sorrows which the world knows not; often times we call a man cold when he is only sad. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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The soul conceives, the mind creates, the body experiences. The circle is complete. The soul then knows itself in its own experience. Meditation from Conversations with God, Book 1, page 196

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Hi y'all. What a rude awakening about 12:30 PM today. Mamie landed on my chest following a loud crack of thunder. Poor baby, she was so scared, just trembling like crazy. I put her by my side with her head cradled on my shoulder. She calmed down. It was like "Damned Daddy, that frigging lightning almost made me pee the bed." Or something like that. I was not through sleeping as I looked at the clock last about 5:30 AM. So I lay back and almost went back to sleep when my CPAP machine went off, my opened and I noticed the ceiling fan was slowing down. Oh, hell, a power failure. It was just pouring outside and the street was really running with water, not flooding but a rushing of the water in the gutters. So up I got and put Mamie out - she wet on the patio and came right back to the door and I let her in just as another crash of lightning. She just ran in, yelped and jumped up in my arms. Bless her heart, she just cannot tolerate the lightning and thunder. I really love this little girl.

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At 4 the lights were still out and I saw a Centerpoint truck go by so I followed him to the end of the street where there were 3 other ones. I asked if any idea when and of course they had no idea but would not be leaving until the lights were on. So back Home I went, changed clothes, and went to the cinema. I saw "Swing Vote". Not a great movie but for the times it was very interesting. The concept of one state, then one vote to decide who would be the next president of the United States would be elected. It was thought provoking. Talk about flip flopping candidates. Oh, well it was just a movie, I'm sure that would not happen in the real would. LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL.

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Today I am Grateful for:

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God, My Higher Power

My Sobriety

Mamie, my schnauzer

My Sponsor whom I had better call.

My friends.

Continuous sobriety and a daily reprieve.

Blog visitors.

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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Tuesday Morning, August 20, 2008

You misunderstand your power. I tell you this: Your life proceeds out of your intentions for it.

Meditations from Conversations with God Book 1, page 118

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Hi y'all.

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Today I am Grateful for:

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God My Higher power.

My Sobriety.

Mamie, my miniature schnauzer.

My sponsor.

Friends.

Comments.

The resentment prayer as outline on page 552 of the 4th edition.(I work this one overtime lately) It works.

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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Monday Night, August 18, 2008

If you want guarantees in life, then you don't want life. You want rehearsal for a script that's already been written. Meditations from Conversations with God Book 1, page 141
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Now if that is not written especially for us Alcoholics, I don't know what was. I always wanted and still do want guarantees. If my life ended within the next few minutes that would be just fine with me. I am so ready. I am so ready to leave this world and go on to the next adventure. I have not been so happy with the current one. Alcohol has affected my life since the moment of conception. It is a miracle that I do not suffer from alcoholic syndrome. My Mother was an alcoholic and my dad was the town drunk. To make matters worse, when they divorced, my Mother and I moved to Houston, Texas. Then she met and married my stepfather - I can say and actually believed for a long time that he was scrounged up from the depths of hell and set into our lives. He was also an alcoholic. And I experienced a living hell during my growing up years. I swore that I would never drink like "them." And I did not.

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I drank like ME. I started at 18 and stopped at 50 as I said in Friday or Saturdays post. I loved it, I loved the taste. I loved the power I thought It gave me and I was so proud I was not like "them." That is so funny now that I have several years of sobriety under my belt. I don't drink over anything, no way, no how, no time. Sobriety has brought me a decent life. I can live through each day as it comes. I can and have walked through a lot of trials and tragedies during my sobriety. And thanks to Alcoholics Anonymous I still do. Now don't get your panties in a knot over the first paragraph. I have no intention of taking my own life, I believe it is a mortal sin. Besides I have tried it twice when I was a practicing drunk and I never want to experience the deep disappointment in failing again. Besides, if I had succeeded, I would not be able to go out of this world a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I know it will happen in God's time and not mine. I may not like it, but I have to accept it. Now, it just don't get any better than that.

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Tonight I am grateful for:

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God, my higher power.

My Sobriety.

Mamie, my schnauzer.

My Sponsor.

Not being afraid to express my feelings.

Acceptance.

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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Saturday Night, August 16, 2008

Hey alkies, how it going. Four years ago today I rolled into Houston after an absence of 32 years. It was kind of good to be Home. I stayed with my friends Joe and Karl for 54 days. I intended on it not to exceed 2 weeks, but they would not hear of it when I was going to move to an extended stay hotel. And honey, you do not argue with either of those two. I'm really starting to miss Karl.

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There were times that I wondered if I had done the right thing in moving to Houston. This city has so many ghosts for me and I talked to my sponsor in Los Angeles about this. His take was that I put my house on the market and everything just fell into place. The second person to look at it on the 1st day bought it and we had a 45 day escrow. Everything with that worked like clockwork and everything else just came off the same way. I had the movers pack, and they loaded the truck on Friday, the 13th and off they went. I spent the night with my friend Dana and left the next morning on my trek to Houston. That was the 14th of August 2004 and I rolled up in front of 923 at 5:15 that Monday, August 16, 2004. I relaxed for a couple of days and that Thursday I met the realtor that Joe and Karl had recommended.

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I had talked with Ron on the phone several times and had looked at houses on the Internet. I knew what I wanted to spend, they type and size, age, etc of the house I wanted to buy. So on Thursday August 18, we started my quest of home ownership in Houston. I looked at over 100 houses. Some new, and some real dogs. I found a neighborhood I really liked and confined my search to that area. I found a house that I really liked. The master bedroom and bath were the selling points. I signed a contract, had it inspected, it failed the inspection, and my search was back on. However, I did not need to look at anymore houses. I had a couple of others that met my criteria, and one that I loved except the master bath shower was smaller than I wanted. So I signed a contract on it, had it inspected and it passed. I had a hell of an inspector and he annotated everything down to a few loose screws. I'm glad he did not inspect this loose screw. I would never have passed. Anyway I went into a 30 day escrow, closed on time, and took the Keys on October 2, 2004. I had the house professionally cleaned and the carpets done, and I moved in on October 6, 2004. I was really home.

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I was talking to my LA sponsor that night and I mentioned again that I hoped it was the right thing to do. His response was, Zane it all fell into place, Your Higher Power guided you, and you followed. So it was meant to be. He was very right. It will soon be 4 years since I moved in, and yes, there are times that I wish I had moved closer to Downtown, but I do love my house. It is home and I do love being here. This is one of the perks of sobriety. It just don't get much better than that.

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Tonight I am grateful for:

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God, my higher power.

My sobriety.

Mamie, my schnauzer.

My sponsor.

A great speaker at Lambda tonight.

Seeing my friends and meeting Ricks sponsor from Arkansas.

Acceptance.

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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Friday Evening, August 15, 2008

Hi Y'all, I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkk!

Wow. So much has happened in our lives the past two and a half weeks. We all know what happened to most of you, but I've been on hiatus. I've enjoyed visiting your blogs and leaving comments. So I do not need to go back over any of that. Suffice it to say we have all survived and are still on the blogosphere. And we are all still sober. Now that's the shared blessing.

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Today, Mary Christine was talking about baking pies and it reminded me of when I had a summer job between my junior and senior high school years during the summer of 1958. My Mother had just come home from her stint in the Texas Prison System in Huntsville - Goree Women's Prison. We got a small apartment and it was a block from my summer job that I had gotten through a friend of my grandpa. I was the dishwasher. The owner was this huge man, about 6"6" and weighed about 450. BIG. He was a kind gentle soul but I was scared of him. He never gave me reason, I just was. I worked 6 days a week and we were closed on Sundays.

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About three weeks into the job, he sold to these two sisters. The one that ran everything was Mae. She was a hoot and she really liked me. Her sister was kind of cool, but a total mess. At 16 even I knew this. There were four of us in the kitchen: the cook - a big black woman who was funny as hell; the pie baker who was a divorcee who made the best pies; another part time cook; and me, the lowly dishwasher.

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The pie lady came in at 7 AM and began the pie making. She always made 3 each of chocolate, pineapple cream, banana cream, and coconut cream meringue pies. I was in hog heaven. I came in at nine and she had saved the four pots for me to lick. I usually arrived about 8:30 to get the lickings, put them on a plate, get a cup of coffee and chow down. It was equivalent to a very large piece of pie sans meringue. Then I went to work. About the time I got the breakfast dishes done, and all the pots and pans done, the lunch rush occurred and I did not leave the damned ole dishpan until about 2 PM. Mae would come back, tell me to get what I wanted for lunch and pie of choice. Then she and I would have lunch with the pie lady and just have a fun time. Don't remember much about what we talked about, except I always enjoyed the time with them.

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Summer ended and I was off to school. We moved back out into the Aldine School District and I finished my Senior Year. It was a very fun year, too quickly gone, and then I was out into the world to become an instant Alcoholic that started on my first job that started on my 18th birthday, 08-03-1959 and ended when I had my last drink on January 19, 1992. The first day of sobriety was January 20, 1992 and I did my first meeting on Wednesday, January 22, 1992 . I was told to keep coming back, and I have And January 20 1992 is my one and only sobriety date. It just don't get much better than that.

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Today I am Grateful for:

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My Higher Power, God.

My Sobriety.

Mamie, my little schnauzer.

My sponsor.

Continued sobriety.

Serenity.

My friends.

Memories.

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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.