Thursday, April 22, 2010

In The Back Seat

When you achieve certain states of being over a long period of time, success in what you are doing in the world is very difficult to avoid.  April 22 - Meditations from "Conversations with God" - Book 1 Page 176

Goooooooooooooooood Morning you bunch of drunks.  How the hell are ya?  As for me, I'm sober.

"In the back seat" probably conjurs up all kinds of thoughts.  You naughty people.  There are things that go on in the back other than "that."  I mean kids fight, the dog gets just out of reach, etc, etc, etc.  I've got a tale about a back seat happening that embarrassed the hell out of me, but left me laughing my ass off.  Well, maybe not, but almost.

There is a group of us that meets for dinner most Saturday nights prior to the Lambda Speaker Meeting.  And most nights we all drive ourselves.  But one recent Saturday night my sponsor and I wound up riding with Daave.  Now we were in Daave's '84 Eldo, damned that thing is gorgeous and the interior is RED.  Now that is my fave color.  Anyway, I wound up in the back seat, Norris and Daave sitting in the front.  We pulled up to Barnaby's and there was no parking in front so we had to park on the side street.  I probably grumbled the most.  So Daave parks, and he and Norris exit the front seat.  Daave flopped his seat forward to give me exit room.  Up until that point that Eldo was plenty roomy.  Now I could not get in a position to exit.  Normally as anyone else would do I would put my foot out, get a grounding and finish stepping out of the car.  HELL NO that did not work. I could not get in position to do that.  So I thought well, I'll just back out.  Nope the ASS is too big to get through the opening that was availabal.  I'm morified.  I start to giggle and know I have to stop or they will have to have the roof chopped off.  Daave and Norris are doing their best not to laugh, but they did snicker.  After a couple more trys, Daave pushed the button that took his bucket seat all the way up to the steering wheel.    I still could not step out, so I decided to do the Ass end first. Yess, I was able to get the foot out, ground myself and back out of that damned car.  I was even more mortified, but could not get over how damned funny that must have looked to anyone who witnessed this feat.   I just cracked up, and Daave and Norris more than snickered but not real belly laughs which the situation demanded.  Anyway we composed ourselves, and walked over to the restaurant, and I want to tell you Was I Ever SO Glad We Did Not Park In Front.  Thank God, my butt does not beep when I back up.  Yep, we are not a glum lot.

Hmmmmmm, and then did Daave buy a bigger car for his colledction, HELL NO, he got a 61 VW and then the Silver Anniversary vette.   I'm starting to think he never wants me in the back seat of any car.  Well, HARUMPH!  It is all about ME, ya know.

Tonight I am grateful for:
  • God, my Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, my schnauzer
  • My Sponsor
  • Daave and that warped sense of humor
  • Humor
  • Laughter feeling so good
  • Tomorrow is double dip day, but first I have to get up in the middle of the night. (8 am)
  • Friends
  • All Y'all
Y'all be pretty now, ya heah!


dAAve said...

Since the Vette is a 2-seater, you're safe there.
Now, about that Volkswagen ...

Syd said...

LOL on the ass beeping when you back up. Glad that you guys had a good laugh. I can only imagine. Back seats aren't really easy to get out of in 2 door cars.

Prayer Girl said...

You paint a very funny picture here, Zane. It's wonderful that you have a good sense of humor. Laughter is great medicine. You gave me a good dose with this post. :)


steveroni said...

"We absolutely insist on enjoying life"...and I sure enjoyed THIS post

By the way, I'm not a violin player any more...I'm a lesbian (Yes, I showed the "cowboy" thing to PG also--grin!)

Since we will be driving through Houston toward the end of June, I sure would like to get to a meeting at Lambda--Possible you could be there? We're driving a RAV 4 with rear doors. LOL!

Zanejabbers said...

Do those doors beep when you back up.