Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Pins and Needles for the next few DAYS!

Obedience is not creation, and thus can never produce salvation. Obedience is a response, while creation is pure choice, undictated, unrequired. July 7 - Meditations from "Conversation's with God Book 1" Page 175
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Hey there my alkie friends. Hope all had a wonderful weekend. Even in sobriety it seems as though some of us had too much week left at the end of our weekend.
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Saw my endocrinologist today, sugar is doing much better but there is a problem with my chest xray. They did them over because there is a cloudy area at the bottom of my right lung. And if this xray doesn't show it more clearly, it will be a CATscan. What really pisses me off is the dr. forgot to tell me and he had left so the PA explained it to me. I heard lung problem and just went to a spasm of thoughts. She must have recognized this because she took my hand and told me it looked more like fluid buildup rather than a tumor. Shit she used the T word. I'm trying to just be CALM. Not to project, we learn that in this program. It will be what it will be. Have I ever mentioned that I am a worrywart. I need to 417/449, I have to turn the outcome over to the care of God. Again, one more time my faith has taken over and will keep me centered . I have to realize that I am not in control. I will just have to remember I will find out soon. In God's time, not mine. And of course one of the concerns I have is the expense of these damned tests, the co-pays ya know. There's not much more that I can give up to afford these things reading Pam's Monday post reminded me that I can still do my movies just give up the damned popcorn. Movies without popcorn? It could happen.
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Tomorrow is 7/8/9. It will be another 100 years before that will happen again.
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Tonight I am grateful for:
  • God my Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, my OCD schnauzer (my little love dog)
  • My Sponsor - A Real Winner.
  • My right eye
  • My left eye is recovering from whatever from Sat night.
  • Being sighted.
  • Faith that sustains me.
  • Memories of the most gorgeous sunsets in LA, both from the beach, from the skyscrapers, and from the mountains.
  • Friends
  • All y'all

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

5 comments:

dAAve said...

Courage.

Pam said...

It is hard to stay in the here and now sometimes. Especially for us worrywarts.
One step at a time mi amigo.

Scott W said...

I can't have popcorn. Those kernels might get trapped in my diverticuli and get infected. :-(

I think your lung deal will turn out okay.

Prayer Girl said...

I'm on the Scott W. wavelength - I too think your lung situation will turn out okay. Prayers abound.

It hasn't been easy, but I can actually go to a movie without having popcorn. Do I like it? Hell no. I pass on the popcorn more because of the calories, but the price IS outrageous too.

Love,
PG

Syd said...

I admire you Zane. It takes a lot to just hang in there when someone mentions things that even refer to tumors. I realized when you wrote that 7/8/9 won't roll around again for 100 years, that I'll be dead then. We all will. That gave me pause.