Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Pins and Needles for the next few DAYS!

Obedience is not creation, and thus can never produce salvation. Obedience is a response, while creation is pure choice, undictated, unrequired. July 7 - Meditations from "Conversation's with God Book 1" Page 175
Hey there my alkie friends. Hope all had a wonderful weekend. Even in sobriety it seems as though some of us had too much week left at the end of our weekend.
Saw my endocrinologist today, sugar is doing much better but there is a problem with my chest xray. They did them over because there is a cloudy area at the bottom of my right lung. And if this xray doesn't show it more clearly, it will be a CATscan. What really pisses me off is the dr. forgot to tell me and he had left so the PA explained it to me. I heard lung problem and just went to a spasm of thoughts. She must have recognized this because she took my hand and told me it looked more like fluid buildup rather than a tumor. Shit she used the T word. I'm trying to just be CALM. Not to project, we learn that in this program. It will be what it will be. Have I ever mentioned that I am a worrywart. I need to 417/449, I have to turn the outcome over to the care of God. Again, one more time my faith has taken over and will keep me centered . I have to realize that I am not in control. I will just have to remember I will find out soon. In God's time, not mine. And of course one of the concerns I have is the expense of these damned tests, the co-pays ya know. There's not much more that I can give up to afford these things reading Pam's Monday post reminded me that I can still do my movies just give up the damned popcorn. Movies without popcorn? It could happen.
Tomorrow is 7/8/9. It will be another 100 years before that will happen again.
Tonight I am grateful for:
  • God my Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, my OCD schnauzer (my little love dog)
  • My Sponsor - A Real Winner.
  • My right eye
  • My left eye is recovering from whatever from Sat night.
  • Being sighted.
  • Faith that sustains me.
  • Memories of the most gorgeous sunsets in LA, both from the beach, from the skyscrapers, and from the mountains.
  • Friends
  • All y'all

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.


dAAve said...


Pam said...

It is hard to stay in the here and now sometimes. Especially for us worrywarts.
One step at a time mi amigo.

Scott W said...

I can't have popcorn. Those kernels might get trapped in my diverticuli and get infected. :-(

I think your lung deal will turn out okay.

Prayer Girl said...

I'm on the Scott W. wavelength - I too think your lung situation will turn out okay. Prayers abound.

It hasn't been easy, but I can actually go to a movie without having popcorn. Do I like it? Hell no. I pass on the popcorn more because of the calories, but the price IS outrageous too.


Syd said...

I admire you Zane. It takes a lot to just hang in there when someone mentions things that even refer to tumors. I realized when you wrote that 7/8/9 won't roll around again for 100 years, that I'll be dead then. We all will. That gave me pause.