Sunday, October 25, 2009

Just a feel good day and COWBOY RULES!

The Laws are very simple,
  1. Thought is creative.
  2. Fear attracts like energy.
  3. Love is all there is.
October 25 - Meditations from "Conversations with God - Book 1"  page 56


COWBOY RULES
Cowboy rules for: Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, Oklahoma, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Idaho, Nevada...and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:

  1. Pull your pants up.  You look like an idot.


  2. Turn you cap right, your head ain't crooked.


  3. Let's get this straight, it' called a "gravel road.'  I drive a pickup truck because I want to.  No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus.  Drive it or get out of the way.


  4. They are cattle.  That's why they smell like cattle.  They smell like money to us.  Get over it. Don't like it.  I-10, I-40, I-70, and I-80 go east and sest; I-5, I-17, I-15, I-25 and I-35 goes north and south.  Pick one and go.


  5. So you have a $60,000 car.  We're impressed.  We have $300,000 Combines that driven 3 weeks a year.


  6. Every person in the Wild West waves.  It'called being friendly.  Try to understand the concept.


  7. If that cell lphone while a buch of Geese/pheasants/duck/doves are domin' in during the hunts, we WILL shoot it outa hour hand.  You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.


  8. Yeah.  We eat trout, salmon, deer, and elk.  You really want sushi and caviar?  It's available at the corner bait shop.


  9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season.  It's a religious holiday heleld the closest Saturday to the first of November.


  10. We open doors for women.  That's applied to all women, regardless of age.


  11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu.  Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.


  12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads.  We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Ol Yeah...We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you ear....IT AIN"T REAL CHILI!!!


  13. You bring "Coke" into my house, it better brown, wet, and served over ice.  You "Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.


  14. College and High School Football is more important here that the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers, and the Knicks. and a dang site more fun to watch.


  15. Yeah, we have golf courses.  But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.


  16. Turn Down that blasted car stereo!  That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway.  We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your drawers!  Refer back to #1.

A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won.t get it, but we're friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!!!

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

4 comments:

big Jenn said...

YEE HAAW! jeNN

Steve E. said...

Zane, this is just the MOST!, man...GREAT! I like #8. Sushi and caviar--get 'em at the local bait shop.

Each one of these is "special" Zane. I have already forwarded this, but only to two Peeps, so far.
They both live in Cincinnati!

PEACE!

dAAve said...

i have no comment

Syd said...

Funny Zane. I like those. Except I don't live them.