Thursday, October 29, 2009

Thunder tells me that God is in his heaven.

All of your life you think you are your body.  Some of the time you think you are your mind.  It is at the time of your death that you find out Who You Really Are.  October 29 - Meditations from "Conversations with God - Book 1, page 81.

Hi y'all.  It is pouring here in Spring Texas.  Has been most of the evening.  Reading Syd's post reminded me how walking on the beach in the rain in autumn/winter is one of my favorite things to do.  But not quite this hard. We have been pretty lucky here in the Houston area for the last three weekends.  It has rained during the week and been absolutely gorgeous for the weekends.  That is also the outlook for this weekend.

Last night I heard that Wal-Mart is selling caskets.  Yep, that's just what I want of my coffin, Wal-Mart brand  FADED GLORY.  HMMMMMMMMMM.  So I started looking at on line coffins and found just what I want.  I've never wanted to be embalmed, and the thought of being cremated just does not fall in to my belief system for me.  I love it that eco-friendly burial is now available.  I just want a mahogony veneer coffin made out of pressed wood.  All wood.  No metal.  And I've always not wanted a vault, I want to return to dust. You know Dust to Dust. Back in the 60's and 70's I wanted to be buried in a plain mahogany coffin, naked, and covered with rose petals except for the face.  Such Drama.  Not planning to be checking out any time soon.  Seeing Steveronis post today with the coffin, reminded me of what I want.  That is the coffin I want, except Mahogany Veneer.

It's funny to me to be writing the above.  Saturday night when I went to leave Lambda, the car next to me had pulled its right fender up to within a foot of my front door.  That left me about 9 inches to get in my car.  Hell, I need a lot more room than that.  So I went back in to Lambda and found a skinny friend of mine.  She and her girlfriend were parked on the other side of me.  She said so you need us Skinny Bitches to get you into your truck.  They have always liked my Honda Ridgeline and I told them I bought it to be my last vehicle.  They looked at me and one said is this an announcement.  I laughed and said no,  I wanted it to last another 22 years for when I'm 80, and then it hit me that is only 12 years off.  Shit, that's not very long. But if I live that long, I will have 30 years sobriety.  I don't say if the creek don't rise and the Lord is willing,  I know he is willing and I'm willing to do what it takes to get there.  So I will.  I know that in my heart.  Man does Sobriety Rock or what?

I talked to Rosalie today.  The news is better.  She starts her radium (?) treatment (that does not sound right but that's all this brain will come up with) this coming Tuesday.  She will need ten treatments.  This doctor says that should get rid of the cancer and that she is lucky for it to have been found at this stage.  It very seldom is, so in a way her COPD is a blessing ' that is why they do the X-rays they do.  Talk about a miracle.  I just love watching God at work and reaping some of the glory of his love.  What a spiritual experience this is.

Cabin fever is setting in here.  I'm feeling better, but the vertigo still does a number with me.  I just do not get up, sit or lay down quickly.  The feeling of the spinning room is sickening.  Last night as I lay down I had a spin and let me tell you, I had my eyes open and the tv was just a fluttering, so I shut my eyes quickly and the spinning quieted down.  But it's not so bad, at least I'm sober going through the vertigo.  I'm sure that in my drinking days, there are many spinning moments that are lost in one of those damned blackouts.  I'm so blessed not to live like that any more.

Tonight I am grateful for:

  • God, my Higher Power

  • My Sobriety

  • Mamie, my schnauzer that is clinging to me during the lightening and thunder.  She was outside on a business trip about an hour ago and there was the big clap of rolling thunder, she let out a yelp and ran for the door just a howling.  She was soaked.  She is so precious.  And she just smothered me with kisses.  Yes!

  • My sponsor

  • Cold meat loaf sandwich with catsup

  • Needing what I have

  • Having what I need

  • A call from one of my best friends for tomorrow's 10 AM meeting at my sponsor's.

  • Going back to my Aquatic Therapy this coming Monday.

  • Knowing when to take care of myself

  • Friends

  • All y'all

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah!


dAAve said...

When you can't stop coughin', it's time for a coffin.

big Jenn said...

My husbands birthday dinner request was meatloaf, so I made a huge one because he likes the cold sandwhiches just as much.
I'm glad your sister's cancer is treatable.
I can't believe that Walmart sells coffins either, what's next?! Jeez!
Hope the spins quit soon! jeNN

Scott W said...

Texas state law requires embalming OR refrigeration after 24 hours. Guess you gotta be in the ground quickly down here.

I would kill for a meatloaf sandwich with mayonnaise!

Syd said...

Glad that things are going well, including a nice rainy day. Man, I love those when I am home.

I am going the cremation route. I decided that I didn't want to pollute the ground water. Burning is clean. So be it.

Have a good one Zane.

Steve E. said...

Meditations from "Conversations With God" is a VERY good book Zane, you quote from it frequently, and the words ALWAYS ring true and right ON. Thanks.

Walmart next will be selling halos to go with those coffins, and maybe some left-over meatloaf with mayonnaise on rye, to slip into the coffin--just in case --grin!

Good post, Zane.....PEACE!