Tuesday Night, July 8, 2008

Every heart has it's secret sorrows, which the world knows not; Often times we call a man cold when he is only sad. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

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Hi, y'all. I'm a day late on getting back to the blogosphere, but HERE I am. Nice weekend at my sister's. I came back on Sunday night rather than Monday. I just wanted to get to my bed. I was just out of sorts while I was there, no reason, just was. Really just enjoyed seeing the family and some longtime friends of theirs. Baby Isaac is a sweetheart. Eleven months, walking, and a very well behaved baby. Good food good company. Mamie behaved very well except when the fireworks went off and she came to Daddy and buried her head in my armpit.

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Yesterday I just lolled around, enjoyed being in my bed at my house. I guess I am just too old to really enjoy being elsewhere. I used to really enjoy traveling and driving, but no longer. I just want to be at home. Today I had an appointment with my endocrinologist at 1:45. I left at 1 PM and as I was driving away from the house I noticed these black squigglies in my left eye and realized I was having another retinal hemorrhage. So I called my retinologist and she was on vacation so they set me up for a 2:30 with the Dr. covering for her. So I cancelled the endo appointment and went over to see Dr. O'malley. He said yes I was having another bleedout and then he explained to me exactly what was happening and how it would affect my sight. Now these are the same things that Dr. Feigon had told me, but I was not at high anxiety as I was when she told me back in January. He also told me I did not need to worry about going blind, It will affect my sight temporarily, but it will subside. He went into a lot of detail and afterward I realized that the other Dr. has said the same, I was just more at ease and absorbed what he said. So I see her next week and I need to resched my endo appointment. I am having an adverse effect from the diabetes meds he put me on so I need to have a change. Not to worrry, it's all in Gods time, not mine. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

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Tonight I am grateful for:

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God, my higher power.

My sobriety.

Mamie, my doggie.

My sponsor.

A safe and sane July 4th.

That I overcame the anxiety of the drinking that went on Saturday at my sister's. (It always happens on Saturday, it just seemed it was more this time and I was very uncomfortable, or maybe it was just another of the side effects of being out of sorts.)

Being home.

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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.