The act of resisting something is the act of granting it life....the more you resist, the more you make it real--whatever it is you are resisting. Meditations from Conversations with God, Book 1, page 102
Gooooooooood Mooooooooooorrrrrrrrrnnnnnning ALLLLLLLLLLKIES!
How the hell are ya. You know 17 years ago I was in a mental hospital fighting for my mental health. (Some say it was a lost battle, some say I won) WHATEVER. Anyway, reading tonight's quote reminded me of how much I resisted admitting I was an alcoholic. So, all in all, I can definitely tell you that the above quote is very very true. Or at least it was in my case, and that is all I can do is share my experience, strength, and Hope.
My experience is that I fought tooth and nail not to be LABELED an alcoholic. How could I possibly be an alcoholic, I had a good job, I drove current model cars or motorcycles, had a beautiful home, etc. How could I possibly be an alcoholic. I remember one morning during one of our group sessions that there was this woman that introduced herself as my name is WHATEVER IT WAS, and I am an alcoholic. She shared about how much she drank, the problems it caused her at work and in her life in general. Hell, I drank more than that and I sure as hell was not an alcoholic. I thought of myself, someone is brainwashing this poor woman, they will not do this to me.
A few weeks later I moved out of my home so my now ex-lover could move the HOMEWRECKER into Our Home. I can remember standing there in the kitchen with Vic during one of my weekends out of the loony bin, I had a butcher knife in my hand and I just had the greatest urge to slam it right into his gut and then twist it. Damned, I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to just rip his heart out. But I could not do that. My beliefs held my hand steady and I saved myself a few years in California's penal system or worse yet, a date with a needle. Anyway, I moved out of that house into the log house that he & I built in Running Springs, Ca. I then commuted the 105 miles one way to work in downtown Los Angeles.
On January 20, 1992, I quit the resistance. I no longer allowed my alcoholism to have it's own life. This was the best GOD SHOT I have ever experienced. So, yes, I can certainly attest to the truth to tonight's quote from Meditations. When I sat down to do my post tonight, I had no idea of what to write. I knew I would do a quote and my gratitude list, but had no idea of what was going to go between those two pieces of bread. Voila-------the quote did it. Another GOD Shot. They exist all over the place, I just have to allow myself to receive. It just does not get any better than that.
Tonight I am grateful for:
God, My Higher Power. (I sure enjoy his shots at me)
Mamie, my schnauzer.
Comments from the blogosphere.
No longer being on the resist list.
My accepting that others may have a different opinion than I do.
Tolerance and Love is our Code.
Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.