Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Tuesday Night, April 22, 2008

When you achieve certain states of being over a long period of time, success in what you are doing in the world is very difficult to avoid. April 22 Meditations from Conversations with God Book 1 p176
Hey alkies. How many of us woke up sober this morning. I did. How many of us have a sponsor. I do. How many of us have a sponsor who has a sponsor. I do. How many of us went to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous today. I did Not. Oh, now I have an excuse. A reason. I was not avoiding a meeting but I still did not make it to a meeting today. I probably will not make it to a meeting until this coming Friday when I double dip. And then there will be Saturday Nite Live with the April Birthday Celebrations. I will make that. I am not afraid of not making a meeting, but when I was drinking, I may not make it to the bar but I sure as hell drank. But the bar was more likely until I turned 40. By that time I had a partner and I did not FIT at the bar as much. Now I have and have had for the past few weeks a meeting directory and there are meeting here in Spring within 5 miles of my house. I just have not gone. They are straight meetings. Now I got sober in straight meetings. No one bit me, no one told me to get out. Some though made me feel that I did not belong, such as stating they believed in Adam and Eve, Not Adam and Steve. So this is a threshold I need to cross, I do want more than three meetings a week. I am just so afraid of rejection or being unwelcome. I have to work on this fear.
Today I am Grateful for:
God, My Higher Power
My Sobriety
Dolly, my Schnauzer.
My Sponsor.
My Clean Kitchen, LR, and DR.
My broken little toe not hurting all day.
Being comfortable with Me.
Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.


Pam said...

I am thankful that during my early sobriety I went to the Lambda Club a lot for the noon meeting. It was known all over town at the time (probably still) as an excellent meeting. No one there EVER made me feel like I did not fit in because I was straight. I was always (and still am) made to feel welcome.
I am sorry that this has not been your experience at a straight club. or straight meetings.
You are always welcome with me...anywhere!

Scott W said...

Fear diminishes greatly when you just go ahead and walk through it. You can buy a can of Skoal and keep it in your back pocket, would that help?

Trailboss said...

Just dropped in to say hi. Hi.

dAAve said...

I don't mind straight people as long as they act gay in public.

Bill said...

I don't mind straight people, either, as long as they act gay when they're in bed with me.

The meetings I attend are, I guess, straight meetings that become mixed as soon as I walk in. I have had no problems. Knowing my difficulty with restraint of tongue, I'm sure I'd say something like "Well, I'm here now, so you can either believe it or shut your eyes. I'm not here for sex; I'm here for sobriety" if some asshole made a comment like that.