Monday, October 20, 2008

God does not give me more than I can handle.

October 20 - It is a great challenge, this path of the householder. There are many distractions, many worldly concerns. The aesthetic is bothered by non of these. He is brought his bread and water, and given his humble mat on which to lie, and he can devote his every hour to prayer, meditation and contemplation of the devine. How easy to see the divine under such circumstances! How simple a task! Ah, but give one a spouse and children! Meditations from Conversations with God, Book 1, page 115.
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GOOOOOOD MOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNING ALKIES!!!
Hope you've had a great sober weekend and are now ready to suck up a whole new week of sobriety. Sat nite was the Drag Auction at Lambda. The 12 act show was great, not a stinker in the group. And they collected a very substantial sum for the upcoming Houston Roundup in November. On a sadder but very uplifting note, I went to the Memorial Service/Celebration of Life for Melody J. I got there at 11:30 so I missed some good stuff that had been said. But the next hour and fifteen minutes were a continued tribute to a lovely woman who loved life and lived the past four years sober. She brought happiness to a whole bunch of us, shared her sobriety without equal, and was loved by all who knew her. Melody was a melody with a Rock and Roll beat. She will be missed.
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Today I resumed appointments with my retinologist for a followup on diabetic retinopothy.. First time since July. I was supposed to see her on Sept 16, but Ike blew that out the window. I have had two hemorrhages during the time from the July visit to know. Neither one was bad and was cleared within 24 hours. She dilated both eyes, gave me an injection of dye and looked at both eyes. There is more damage to my left eye. The blood circulation in that eye are little to none and is of great concern to her (and now to me) and she wants me to see my endocrinologist ASAP. The Right eye is fine. I asked her if I was in danger of losing my left eye. Her answer was the eye is not going anywhere but you are losing the sight in that eye and my job is now to try to save it. IN JUST THREE MONTHS? That was not my first thought, it just was as I am writing. My first thought was well my right eye is still good so I won't be blind. Now that is a GOD SHOT. I will have another laser treatment on Oct 30 and it will be more extensive than any I have had so far. This has been going on Since January 20 of this year. Daave came and took me to the emergency room that night. It is so good to have AA friends that are always there for me. I'm blessed.
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Anyway after I left the Dr. at 4:45 I decided to go to Lambda for the 5:15 meeting. I was not shaky or anything I just thought an hour dosage of AA would be right in order. A young man shared that he has been trying to get sober since 2002 and just can't get any time put together. He chatted how much he enjoyed wine - wine wasn't really that bad, it had little alcohol. (HMMMMMM) I DRANK LOTS OF WINE) Then he shared that if he were diabetic, he would certainly take his insulin. So why can't he get sober - his treatment for his alcoholism is AA and the twelve steps, but he finds it very hard to take in. I just found it to be the right thing for me to have to hear today. Funny how God puts things in our life at just the right time. His share just made me take a note on my treatment of my diabetes. I'm not on insulin, but I do take medication for it. And I do it without fail.
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Also at this time I happen to be in just the right spot spiritually and that will help me get through this time. I am fearful but not IN FEAR. I've gone through the Serenity Prayer and 449 or 417 in the 4th on acceptance. God will see me though this and so will my fellow trudgers. You see he set me on this journey almost 17 years ago and I know this is one of those times I have been preparing myself for. Its one of those things you don't drink over, no matter what. IT JUST WILL NOT GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT.
Tonight I am grateful for:
  • God, My Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie my schnauzer
  • My Sponsor
  • My Friends
  • My senses of smell, feeling, and sight
  • Things I take for granted
  • My fellow bloggers

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

9 comments:

dAAve said...

Keep up that attitude. Might as well.

Pam said...

Zane -- I am so proud of you for being positive!
I wish I had known Melody, I have heard several of you speak so highly of her.
I'm also glad that you are taking action with your health and not just sitting stuck! That's a great example of the program working in your life mi amigo.

Scott W said...

I smell a lot of gratitude up in Spring.

Patty said...

You will be in my prayers, blogger buddy.

AlkySeltzer said...

NO MATTER WHAT! I tell them that at meetings now, alost like a mantra...

My father was blind and he thought, "Well, at least I can hear!" Then he lost hearing (completely also) and the last 20 years of his life were spent raising turkeys (Lots of them). 2 nuns wrote a book about him. Title: LIVING WITH JOY! (Published privately.)

Akannie said...

Hey buddy-- I will keep you in my prayers. Isn't it wonderful how we are able to handle situations which used to baffle us??

We're all here for ya, darlin' !!

PRAYER GIRL said...

I like your spirit. I'm sure you are a wonderful role model to others.

You'll be in my prayers.

J-Online said...

I'm just getting back and catching up on blogs. I had my blackberry with me on the trip and could only see names and titles to posts. Couldn't open any up, but I saw this one yesterday and smiled. I needed to read "God does not give me more than i can handle." Thanks for the great post.

J-Online said...

I'm just getting back and catching up on blogs. I had my blackberry with me on the trip and could only see names and titles to posts. Couldn't open any up, but I saw this one yesterday and smiled. I needed to read "God does not give me more than i can handle." Thanks for the great post.