Meltdown and Computer Probs.

When human love relationships fail, they fail because they were entered into for the wrong reason. October 8 Meditations from Conversations with God Book 1, page 122

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Hi, my alkie friends. Lordy, lordy, lordy - what a 24 hours that just passed. Oi Vay.

1. A thunderstorm yesterday am knocked out my power at 7AM.
2. Oh no, not another 11 days.
3. Came back on at 10:30.
4. Left home at 11:15 to go to lambda and my shrink in that order.
5. Got home about 4 pm and tried to sign on to the internet. )(*&^)(*^)(*^&*
6. No connection. Called ATT - one hour later it was determined that there was a line problem so they transferred me to scheduling for a tech to come out and test the line and the inside connection.
7. Schedule was for 1 - 5 PM today. AAARRRRGGGH!
8. 10:30 Phone rings. ATT tech - I was next on list and could he come by early. After reviving myself for "the impossible" to happen, I said YES!
9. 10 minutes later he was here. My modem had died.
10. I just happened to have another, it worked, and I only needed to call ATT to get hooked back up.
11. At 11:00 AM i called tech support.3 support reps and a transfer to an onshore tech rep I was all hooked up again and off the phone at.........................4 yes 4 fucking PM.

By now I have not had breakfast, nor taken my daily meds, etc. But I am back online, however my Yahoo Messenger sidebar no longer works or should I say no longer exists. When reconnecting me, they hooked me back up with all of their most current application. The newest application discontinued the SIDEBAR and replaced it with history. I now need to talk to Tier Two Tech to get this fixed if at all possible.

No this did not cause my meltdown. That happened last night. Now mind you, I have gone through Ike and all that crap and came through fine. No anxiety nor panic nor depression. But when the "Offshore Tech" (somewhere in the South Pacific or the Indian Ocean) told me I may have to wait 4 ddays for the ATT tecky to come out, I just snapped. I quickly got off the phone with him and just started screaming - I really th0ught OK it's time for the men in the little white coats. I AM IN FULL MELTDOWN. So my inner voice told me to calm down and call my sponsor. (What a concept) So I called Norris and he answered I started to tell him what was wrong and my voice just got higher and higher and Bless his Heart - he told me very lovingly - Stop. Breath in slowly - let it out slowly I did so and then I just broke down and cried like I haven't cried since Dolly died. I mean I was wailing. He just kept saying, get it all out, cry as long as you need to, I'm here. After a few minutes and a few elk answered what they thought was a mating call, I quit calling. He said well you must feel better, what happened and I went over the story with him. He asked if I had called ATT to schedule the tech to come out and I said no.

Norris: Well, why don't you call and schedule them..

Me: Ok.

And then I told him I think my reaction to all of this was due to all of the pent up emotion from Ike, etc. He agreed. Now the best part of all of this was that during all of this MELTDOWN, I never thought about having a drink. I just wanted HELP. And I got it. So I called and scheduled the techy and you know the rest. Hmmmmmm. Contempt (Meltdown) before investigation. Or Projection?

Any way, it all has come out all right. I am still a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I used my tool box. I followed direction. (to think I needed direction for such a simple thing) And all is right with the world. Well, accept for the sidebar. And that will work itself out in God's time, not mine. Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems. It just does not get any better that.

Today I am grateful for:

• God My Higher Power
• My Sobriety
• Mamie, my schnauzer
• My Sponsor. (such a loving and kind man)
• Sanity or some facsimile of it.
• A working internet connection
• Prayer
• Hard working ATT tech suppporters.
• Solved problems.

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.