Thursday, June 4, 2009

Fear is the other end of love. It is the primal polarity. "Conversations with God - Book 1" page 57
Hi, my alkie friends. I really do admire all of you that post on a daily basis. I just can't do that. I enjoy doing it and do until it just becomes too much for me. You know I have "so much" to do. Sometimes I get on a real good roll and can go for months, or at least weeks, and then I just become overwhelmed with the rigidity of posting and reading. Now the rigidity is self-imposed, but it's there and when I let it become too much I stop. I talk both to my shrink and my sponsor about this and they both agree with me stopping but encourage me not to let it go so long. I do the best I can and each time I start,stop and restart I seem to lose someone I thought was a friend. It's not like I have lost my sobriety, I won't lose that no matter what. Nothing gets in the way of my sobriety. And I mean nothing. If I have to give up something, I can guarantee that it won't be my sobriety. It cost me too much to obtain it, and then it became a gift and it's the one gift I won't be giving back.
Tonight I am grateful for:
  • God, my Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, my OCD schnauzer.
  • My sponsor.
  • My Right Eye
  • Being sighted
  • All the things I take for granted - walking, talking, smelling, enjoying a meal, my dog, my friends, etc.
  • Lambda
  • Tomorrow is double dip day.
  • All y'all

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah!


Steve E. said...

I picture us out here looking at each other saying, "Is it I,Lord?",
ondering WHO could not be a friend to you, Zane?

But that's not the point. Ha! "What's the POINT?"

"Wahl, Misterr Dillon, the point of the matter is..." how YOU take these things of life. Zane. After all, life is BIG! And your "Don't drink, No Matter What" (NMW) is the
ONE thing we can be certain is God's Will for us, me and you. And, with our cooperation, God will see us through the thick and thin of misery and happiness.
Thankds for being here.
Peace to you, Bro,
Steve E

See you in 2010 July?

big Jenn said...

Hey Zane. I'm around but not taking the time to read blogs, or write either. I'm soooo lovin' my new Hog! Life is good. Feel free to email me if you want. Have a good one! jeNN

Scott W said...

Like you said it gets to be a task to keep up sometimes. I have regulars I read every day, others I stop by every few days. Whatever you do there seems to be no real reason to beat yourself up.

Syd said...

It's okay Zane. Nothing really needs to be about rigidity. I often don't much feel like blogging. I guess that I keep it up..well..because of some kind of commitment to myself. Anyway, I'm subscribed to you so whenever you post, I'll see it. Thanks for being here.

Steve E. said...

Zane, I do not know about this "loss of who I thought was a friemd".

What about (when you are away from a month or longer) Emailing all your peeps that you are BACK...and to please mention it on their blogs.

My friend, it is always a pleasure to visit cyberly with you. It shall be this way for a blong time!

Prayer Girl said...

Hey Zane,
I have deleted some bloggers who have not blogged in a long time, but you stayed on my blog roll because:
1. You said you would return.
2. I believed you when you said you would.
3. I just didn't have the heart to think about losing your humor and wit filled blog.
4. You're staying there whether you blog daily or not. Makes no difference to me.
Prayer Girl