Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Today was SOOOO Good.

I tell you there is no such experience after death as you have constructed in your fear-based theologies. June 30 - Meditations from "Conversations with God - Book 1" page 41
Hey there, you bunch of alkies. How the hell are ya? Today has been a good day. Got up about 2 ish, talked to a couple of friends, started on my new diabetic med, went to a movie, prayed, and just settled into my day w'o any drama. Now that is a gooooooood day. I also go a call from my sister Myrna in Seattle (Dad's daughter) and we talked for over an hour and just laughed. I shared with her about my findings on our side of the family from Ancestry.com. I am going to make copies of what I've found and send it to her. It seems her oldest son (Pat 49) is starting a family tree and has run into a dead end on dad's side.
I have seen two movies so far this week. Yesterday I saw "My Sister's Keeper", now that was a tear jerker and a very good movie. I found it to be about acceptance and love of family. Today I saw "Cheri" with Michelle Pfeiffer. Excellent. I thought she was Cheri, but that is the name of her young lover who was quite handsome. Costuming just really was part of the story. Cathy Bates also has a supporting role in this movie which just capped it off for me. I thought it was just full of very strong performances.
I love strong performances, especially those I see in AA when someone is just working their program and not doing all this hey loook at me, see how great an AA person I am. Yoohoo I am really Mr or Ms. AA. Aren't I just IT. A friend of mine had a dream recently of throwing a chair at someone that I put in this category. I know that is being judgemental on my part, I have four fingers pointing back at me, but that's the way I feel and I don't try to be phony. I'm just me. If you like it, fine, if not I try to let that be ok also. Yeah right, just try to act like you don't accept me for any reason, just try to be judgemental about or to me. OMG, I just die inside. How could you do this to me. Don't you know how "fragile" I am. How can you claim to be so loving, so accepting, so totally immersed in AA and the principle's of the program. I made a comment to a friend of mine this past Saturday night and then followed it with a "Wow, that was mean of me." and his retort was yeah, but you don't practice that, and you are human so you are going to have those thoughts. You know whom to share those kind of things with etc. etc. Yeah, I don't try to hurt people nor make unkind statements to others nor intentionally try to hurt someone. I used to, but that is one of my character defects that seldom raises its ugly head. Yep, those thoughts do arise, I just don't act or blurt them out. I never knew it was so easy not to be a Bitch. But the steps, the principles, the traditions, the promises, and those 164 pages have given me a new way of life, a new set of actions and I love it. It just don't get no better than that.
Tonight I am grateful for:
  • God, my Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, my OCD schnauzer. She's been so good lately, no self respecting squirrels are out in this heat.
  • My Sponsor.
  • My Right Eye.
  • My improving left eye.
  • Being sighted
  • Having enough
  • Not wanting for what I need.
  • Humor
  • The relief of LAUGHTER
  • Friends
  • All y'all.

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.


Steve E. said...

Wow, I get to comment on your blog twice in one night...and it's 2 AM and I get up at 5...Holy crapola. Well, Zane I just wanted you to know how much I respect honesty, the kind you have. I don't lie anymore, but that took a long time. To overcome.

Anybody I hurt any more in this life, is purely accidental, a wrong word, too MANY words, a 'look' YOU know what I mean, shit, you just blogged it.

Hey take care, my friend, treat yourself, but don't hurt yourself with the treating!

dAAve said...

I'm glad you're catching up on your sleep so we can get together on Friday morning.

Scott W said...

Someone we know calls those people self appointed AA royalty. I have to remember they usually are the unhappiest ones out there.

Prayer Girl said...

It wonderful to hear you had a day that was SOOOO Good.

For a moment, I thought the title of your blog was SOOOO God. (That would have fit too.) :)

Prayer Girl

Syd said...

I'm glad that you had a great day. I understand where you are coming from about the sensitivity part. It is easy sometimes to slide into self pity and to let what others think dictate my feelings. Good reminder for me.

Pam said...

I need to call you when I want to go see a movie because you always seem to be up on them.
You sound happy darlin'

Findon said...

Zane old friend you sound as happy as a kid in a sweet shop. Lovely, you enjoy your self.

Akannie said...

You're as real as cherry pie, in my book.

Don't change!!!

Hugs to you and woofs! to Mamie!!