Friday, February 6, 2009

A Bit of humor

February 6 - There is only what serves you, and what does not. The terms "right" and "wrong" are relative terms. Meditations from "Conversations with God - Book 1" page 162
I am very happy to report I came through a major resentment and won out with restraint of keyboard. It's all in perspective.
Humor for Lexophiles (lovers of words) (Daave type)
  • I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  • Police were called to a day care center where a three-year old was resisting a rest.
  • To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
  • The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
  • A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
  • When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
  • The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
  • The professor discovered that his theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
  • The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
  • A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
  • A bicycle can't stand alone, it is two tired.
  • A will is a dead giveaway
  • A backward poet writes inverse.
  • A chicken crossing the road, poultry in motion.
  • With her marriage she got a new name and a dress
  • A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, and resulted in linoleum blownapart.
  • He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
  • A calendar's days are numbered.
  • A boiled egg is hard to beat
  • If you jump off a Paris Bridge, you are in Seine.
  • When she saw her first strand of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
  • Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
  • Acupuncture a jab well done.

Tonight I am Grateful for:

  1. God, my Higher Power
  2. My Sobriety
  3. Mamie, my OCD schnauzer
  4. My sponsor
  5. My Right Eye
  6. Today
  7. Two good meetings today
  8. All y'all

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.


steveroni said...

REALLY like the lexophile humor.
Thank you. Want to use it somewhere, guess it's to late to blog it here -grin!

Steve E.

dAAve said...

You're right. I love those.
Steveroni -- I'm not proud . I could use them sometime.

Bill said...

I like the linoleum blownapart the best.
For now.
I may change my mind later.

Todd HellsKitchen said...

At first I thought I was reading your gratitude list and was wondering why you were grateful that a baseball hit you! LOL

Akannie said...

LOL....Zane, those were great!!!!

I'm grateful for YOU !