Monday, February 9, 2009

February 9 - You are, have always been and will always be, a divine part of the divine whole, a member of the body. That is why the act of rejoining the Whole, of returning to God, is called remembrance. You actually choose to re-member Who You Really Are, or to join together with the various parts of you to experience the all of you--which is to say, the All of Me. Meditations from " Conversations with God - Book 1" page 28
Who you really are? The All of Me? Now that's a lot to ponder and I just don't know if I'm ready to do that. Or is it just a way of saying STEP FOUR - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Yep, that's what I see. Comments?
Yesterday my friend Joe and I went to the Angelika to see the movie "Frozen River." Very, very, very good movie. A wonderful review of human suffering of the much less fortunate of us just trying to make ends meet. It really hit home with me as far as the struggle to get by. It took me right back my childhood. I've been through some of that and I think that is what made me the survivor I have become. My friend Joe, stated that it was so foreign to him, that he did not know if he could make it through hard times. Not that his family was wealthy, he just never experienced the rough side of life. He never experienced not having anything to eat; not having the repo man come to the door; not having your home ruined and having to find somewhere else to go; not having your Mother go to prison; depending on help from others. It was really a study between his background and mine. We had a very stimulating conversation afterward. If you have not seen this movie, I highly recommend it - it comes out on DVD tomorrow.
Now I could easily have taken my background to make excuses for my alcoholism or as to why I drank. It might have had an affect, but I drank because I Liked It. I drank alcoholically. I had my first blackout during the first week of my drinking. And I had a hell of lot more of them. I kept right on drinking until it just absolutely did not work anymore for this glutton of booze. Took me 32 years to accomplish that and just a split second for me to have my moment of clarity. It was a long time coming. And I love my Sobriety. I cherish my Sobriety. I love and cherish Alcoholics Anonymous. I love and cherish enjoying my being happy, joyous, and free. It just won't get any better that that. Sobriety ROCKS.
Tonight I am Grateful for:
  • God, my Higher Power
  • My Sobriety
  • Mamie, my OCD schnauzer
  • My Sponsor (talked to today)
  • My right eye
  • What I learn from your blogs.
  • All y'all.

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.


Scott W said...

RE: the CwG quote, I heard in it that we forget we are a direct part of God, that we are not separate, but we have been sent here, un-knowing, so God can have the experience of himself (or herself or itself).

And it gives the soul something to do.

Syd said...

I've never experienced financial problems but I've had some years when I was emotionally bankrupt. I guess that the facade of normalcy was my key to making it through each day.

big Jenn said...

Being sober does rock! Knowing that I am God's, or part of God rocks too!Knowing that I can survive anything and even if I didn't I'm OK rocks!Your post rocks! jeNN

steveroni said...

Zane, I really like these "Conversations With God"...hope you keep posting them, even if you don't write other "good shit"...

(Pssst: it saves me having to buy the book! -grin.)

Actually, I may have the book, but it has not been on my daily list. No doubt, it's on-line also, since just about everything IS,