Hi guys. Spent 6 hours at Joe and Karl's today. When I got there Joe's brother met me at the door, squeezed my arm and said, "Thanks." Karl now needs round the clock care. So far, Sunday is the earliest a home health nurse is available so we are kind of taking shifts. The nurse told Joe today, that the end is very near. Joe is okay with this, he knows it is best for Karl. And of course his faith is carrying him through this. Karl hardly knew who I was today, but came around about two hours later. He is now on Thorazine for the nausea and vomiting blood. I did not understand how a psychotic drug could be good for this so I looked it up in the PRN. Sure nuff, it is used for this in terminal patients.
The way Joe and Karl are handling this is a lesson to me. I see the love they have shared for 29.5 eyars bolstering both of them. I see their faith carrying them through this. I see the peace that Karl has and the total lack of fear for the next part of his journey. I remember, as the caretake of my mother, the strength that I seemed to just have was there. I also remember that she did not have fear of death. I just hope that when I get to that point that I can have the same peace that I have witnessed in these two people. I think that I will, I have a strong faith although I am not part of any church, but am protestant. I also know that the spirituality I now have will sustain me. God, I am so grateful to be sober and can be there for my friends. I was in my disease when my mother died, but I was able to be there for her. I know it was God given strength.
Tonight when I got home, the AC was not running. So I went to turn it on and it was on. The last few nights it has gotten down to 66 and I have it set on 72. So in the morning, I will be on the phone to get that fixed. It is 17 years old, so it may need to be replaced. We will see. Oh, and my neighbor did not show today, but then I left at 3 PM and his truck was not there, so he probably was working. He did tell me that if the weather was better he would work today. Well, at least tonight is not really hot. I have the ceiling fan in my bedroom on frantic so I hope I will be comfortable. If not, I will just have to say the serenity prayer a couple of hundred times. Yeah that's the ticket.
Tonight I am grateful for:
God, my higher power.
Mamie, my schnauzer.
Memories of Dolly.
My spirituality and faith.
Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.