Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Tuesday Night, May 6, 2008

There is a divine purpose behind everything, and therefore a divine presence in everything. Meditations from Conversations with God Book 1, page60
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Not a good day, but it is a sober day and that is a blessing. This is probably my shortest post. Tomorrow is another day. That is a quote from Scarlett O'Hara. One of these days I won't fall into a depression, but it is here tonight and it hurts. I hate the hopelessness, the total despair, and the wish to just disappear. Not die, just disappear. If only a disappearing act could solve it, I would be gone in a heartbeat. It will pass, it always does, but it's a bitch while it is here.
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Tonite I am grateful for:
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God, my Higher Power.
My Sobriety.
Mamie, My Schnauzer.
Memories of Dolly.
My Sponsor.
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Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

6 comments:

Scott W said...

I hate that for you. It's so mysterious, and it seems to come and go so quickly. Hold on and hold on to that little Mamie.

dAAve said...

At least you have experience to fall back on.

Bill said...

Hang in there, kid!

I read something today that made me think of you, Dolly, and Mamie.
Take a look at this:
http://bigislandjeepguy.blogspot.com/2008/05/best-friend.html

Pam said...

Do what you know works...whatever that is. If Mamie licks you....LICK HER BACK. We don't know if that might be why dogs are happy all the time....maybe there is magic in their fur and that's why they lick themselves!!!!!
;)

Try this Zane..I mean it..try.
Smile as hard as you can..real hard to where the skin on your face is hard. Where the skin on your lips is drawn tight. Hold it as long as you can...it actually hurts your face, but hold it as long as you can. Squint your eyes also. Do this often. No one will see you. Our brain does not know a fake smile from a real one. This actually help release endorphens to your brain. My daughter uses it....she suffers with depression like you....suddenly...no warning.
She learned this little trick many years ago. Of course it does not cure anything....but she says that sometimes it does bring her little glimpses of relief.

Zane-nawwaa said...

Bill, I did read about "Jeep the dalmatian" great story. Reminds me of how I got Dolly. I just love God Shots.

Mary Christine said...

Sorry that you are feeling that darkness. I know that it will pass.... and I know that when you are in it it seems endless.

Sending love and prayers your way.XXXOOO, MC